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     Volume 4 Issue 36 | March 4 , 2005 |

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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am 23. I used to like an Irish girl, when I was in Ireland. She used to like me as well. I was about to marry her, but suddenly I realised that my family is not going to accept it because she is Christian. A month later, I moved to London to go to university. Last month, I went there to meet with some of my friends. I met her and again became emotional when she said that she still likes me. I don't want to lose her and I don't want to lose my parents either. My parents are very conservative and they sent me here to study. They are still helping me a lot. On the other hand, if I take too long to decide, I'm going to lose her as she is not a Bangali girl and will not wait for me. What can I do?

Dear Worried,
Intercultural and interfaith marriages are becoming more and more common nowadays. Parents are much more accepting than they used to be. The most important thing for you is to decide whether this is the right girl for you. If you are serious and truly in love then your parents will accept it someday. You must continue to study and establish yourself first. Remember, parents always want the best for their children, it is for you to convince them that any decision you take is in your best interest.

Dear Mita,
I'm 14 and go to one of the best schools in Dhaka. I have an older brother who is 16. He bullies me, calls me names and says bad things to me. I tell him not to but he still does it. He doesn't even listen to my mother when she tells him to stop. Do I just have to continue taking this torture? What should I do?

Dear AA,
There is no reason to tolerate this torture. If he is being a bully then somebody should tell him so and make him stop. Have a serious talk with him and find out what his problem is. Often older brothers do not realise that their jokes often end up hurting their siblings. Brothers also ignore the reality that a younger sister is not necessarily a baby but, rather, a growing teenager who needs to be treated with respect and dignity. However, I still believe that he is being insensitive rather than vicious. You should be able to sort it out through dialogue.

Dear Mita,
I appeared for my Masters exams last year but my results aren't out yet. In the meantime, I'm working as a government primary school teacher. I don't like the job and want to change it. Teaching children is tough. I get a headache from having to speak loudly in class and am dead tired by the time I get home. As a result, I can't study for different competitive exams. My colleagues are also a lot older than I am and I don't really get along with them. They make me do a lot of extra tasks and I don't even have time to study at work. But my parents want me to work here until I find a better job. What should I do? Should I quit?

Dear Dew,
I think your parents are right in the sense that you should not quit till you find another job. It is easier to find a job when you already have one. On the other hand, keep on looking and I am sure that soon you will find something suitable. It is true that teaching children is not easy and perhaps you should look for something that you like, perhaps teaching older children. As for studying for competitive exams, well, you will have to make that extra time and just do it. This is the time for you to work hard and get ahead in life. Whatever you do now will reward you in future.


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