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     Volume 4 Issue 37 | March 11, 2005 |

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A Woman's Point System

In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system... .

Part 2

Her Birthday
*You take her out to dinner: 0
*You go to a nice, pricey restaurant and hire a guitar player: +3
*You go to a pricey restaurant, hire a guitar player and get up and sing: +4
*If you stink: +2
*If you're not half bad: +5
*You give her a gift: 0
*You give her a gift and it's a small appliance: -10
*You give her a gift and it's not a small appliance: +1
*You give her a gift, and it isn't chocolate: +2
*You give her a gift that you'll be paying off for months: +30
*You wait until the last minute and buy her a gift that day: -10
*With her credit card: -30
*And whatever you bought is two sizes too big: -40

*You forget her birthday completely: -20
*You forget your anniversary: -30
*You forget to pick her up from work: -45
*A Night Out With The Boys
*Go out with a pal: -5
*And the pal is happily married: -4
*Or frighteningly single: -7
*And miss curfew by an hour: -12
*You miss curfew by an hour and you don't call: -20
*You get home at 3 am: -30

Her Night Out
*You stay home while she goes out with her annoying friend from work: +5
*She goes out with her annoying work friends, and she comes home late: +10
*You wait up: +15

A Night At Home
*You watch TV together: 0
*You rent a movie: +2
*You rent a movie and it's SENSE AND SENSIBILITY: +3
*It's SENSE AND SENSIBILITY and you stay awake throughout: +5
*It's SENSE AND SENSIBILITY and you fall asleep: -1
*It's SENSE AND SENSIBILITY and you fall asleep and drool: -2

A Night Out
*You take her to a movie: +2
*You take her to a movie she likes: +4
*You take her to a movie you hate: +6
*You take her to a movie you like: -2
*It's called DeathCop 3: -3
*You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans...........-15

*You buy her flowers only when it's expected: 0
*You buy her flowers as a surprise, just for the hell of it: +20
*You give her wildflowers you've actually picked yourself: +30
*And she contracts Lyme disease: -25

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