had I had the occasion, more probably courage, to find out
why Sardarjis are the butt of jokes that often lay bare the
aridity of one's upper chamber. One would have expected such
prejudice to stop after Manmohon Singh was unwillingly catapulted
to the highest public office in India in recognition of the
economist's virtuosity. But no!
was lecturing on population: "In India, after every ten
seconds a woman gives birth to a child."
Sardar stands up and is almost hysterical, "We must find
and stop her!"
the jokes that transpire through the net perhaps let the Sardars
have the last laugh.
tells a girl "Come to my house tonight, nobody will be
to his house at night and really nobody was there. Not even
for sure you can count on is their honesty. And logic also
plays a great part in their life.
"Why are all these people running?"
is a race. The winner will get the Cup."
"If only the winner will get the cup, why are all the
sense, but you would have never thought of that. Or this…
"I killed a person. Convert this sentence into future
Sardar: "The future tense is you will go to jail".
was filling up an application form for a job. He was not sure
with what to fill the column that said "Salary expected".
After much thought he wrote: "Yes!"
lifestyle shows they are very compassionate with their employees,
a rare quality these days.
told his servant: "Go and water the plants."
"It's already raining."
"So what? Take an umbrella and go."
doubt their earthly ingenuity.
found the answer to the most difficult question ever, "What
will come first, chicken or egg?"
common sense: "Oye yaar! Whatever you order first will
is their dealing with the opposite number.
proposed a girl. Girl said, "I am one year older than
said, "Oye, no problem Soniye, I'll marry you next year".
the reasons why they are such a great race is because of the
lessons they derive from their ancestors.
wish: "When I die, I want to die like my grandpa who
died peacefully in his sleep, not screaming like all the stupid
passengers in the car he was driving."
not necessarily short-sighted, but in their innate yearning
to strike up a conversation they have often opened their mouth
when one would have wished they had not.
at an Art Gallery: "I suppose this horrible looking thing
is what you guys call modern art?"
art dealer: "I beg your pardon sir. That's a mirror."
of their virtues is their extreme gentleness with children.
was writing something very slowly. Friend asked: "Why
are you writing so slowly?"
"I'm writing to my six-year old son. He can't read very
is another made-up story that recalls a Sardarji and over
twenty of his family and friends trying to enter a movie house
in the States. They were making quite a din.
rushed out quickly to stop them in their track: "What
do you lot want?"
was unperturbed and widened his smile: 'We want to see the
movie, gorey'. Silently he continued, '…you baboon!'
'But why so many of you at a time?'
'Can't you even read? Look what it says above the doorway
UNDER 18 NOT ALLOWED'
about reputation. At some time someone somewhere began this
thing about Sardars being low on IQ. There is absolutely no
reason why such a notion should be true. But the saga continues.
have for long been dubbed as extra thrifty. Now we all know
that it is impossible for every Scot to be of a similar singular
disposition. But that stops no one from cracking how a Scot
will wring a bottle to squeeze out the last drops of a beverage.
Their reputation is chasing them.
be sure the Sardars and Scots have their own jokes about the
rest of us.
of reputation, it has been published in several reports, credible
or not is unimportant, that Bangladesh is the most corrupt
country in the world; that Dhaka is the worst city to live
in Asia, and so forth. The fact is these claims have received
worldwide acceptance. These are reputations that will last
for decades to come. We cannot erase such questionable standing
with some emissary making a counter-claim during a whirlwind
tour of some rich countries.
has to work hard and together in the right direction under
the right leadership at all levels and under an appropriate
climate to writhe out of the quagmires of (not in any order)
corruption, terrorism, bigotry, nepotism, politicisation,
fraud, wilful environmental degradation… the list could
this horde of snags there is but one word that best describes
the cause of our continued plight, it is INSINCERITY.
(R) thedailystar.net 2005