facts of life . . .
*Men and women will act rationally when all other possibilities
have been exhausted.
*A person is as big as the things that make him angry.
*For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
*Remember, pain is nature's way of reminding you who's in
*You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if
you don't try.
*If you love what you do you'll never work another day in
*The best angle from which to approach any problem is the
*Common sense is not that common.
*When all else fails, read the instructions.
*Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays, it insists on it.
*If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be discarded.
*Observation: I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
*Observation: Logic is a systematic method of coming to the
wrong conclusion with confidence.
*Observation: Matter will be damaged in direct proportion
to its value.
*Observation: When you are over the hill, you begin to pick
*Observation: A carelessly planned project will take three
times longer to complete than expected; a carefully planned
project will take only twice as long.
*Budgets help you worry before you spend money, as well as
An FBI agent is interviewing a bank teller after the same
bandit had robbed the bank three times successively. "Did
you notice anything special about the man? I mean, did he
ever change his appearance?" asks the agent.
"Yes," replies the teller. "He was better dressed
A customer at a grocery store marvelled at the proprietor's
quick wit and intelligence. "Tell me, what makes you
so smart?" "I wouldn't share my secret with just
anyone," replies the proprietor, lowering his voice so
the other shoppers won't hear. "But since you're a good
and faithful customer, I'll let you in on it. Fish heads.
You eat enough of them, you'll be positively brilliant."
"You sell them here?" the customer asks.
"Only Tk. 400 apiece," says the proprietor.
The customer buys three. A week later, he's back in the store
complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn't
"You didn't eat enough " says the proprietor. The
customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later,
he's back and this time he's really angry.
"Hey," he says, "You're selling me fish heads
for Tk. 400 apiece when I can buy the whole fish for Tk. 200.
You're ripping me off!"
"You see?" says the proprietor. "You're getting
Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound
up together at the gates of Heaven. The gatekeeper informed
them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have
to answer one question. He addressed the teacher and asked,
"What was the name of the ship that crashed into the
iceberg? They just made a movie about it."
The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the Titanic."
The gatekeeper let him through the gate. He turned to the
garbage man and, figuring Heaven REALLY didn't need all the
odours that this guy would bring with him, decided to make
the question a little harder: "How many people died on
Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie
and answered, "About 1,500." "That's right!
You may enter."
The gatekeeper then turned to the lawyer. "Name them."
(R) thedailystar.net 2005