a time, three vampires met in some place in night. Apparently,
each one of them was boasting about their vampiric abilities
to one another.
Vampire A said, "Look at that mansion over there! I can
finish all of its inhabitants within 10 minutes!"
And so he flew to the mansion, and 9 minutes later, he came
back with his mouth filled with blood, looking satisfied with
Vampire B then said, "Bah! Look at that village over
there! Give me 5 minutes!"
He flew to the village, returned at the next 5 minutes, with
his mouth filled with dripping red blood.
Vampire C then yelled, "Pffft! Look at the TOWN over
there! Give me 3 minutes!"
He flew to the direction of the town, and one minute later,
he returned with his mouth filled with blood.
Vampire A and B stared at him with amazement, then immediately
asked, "How come you have such speed, friend?"
Vampire C pointed at a direction, then asked them, "Do
you see a building over there?"
"Yes!" answered A and B.
"Well I DIDN'T!!!"
goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. He hasn't been
feeling well and wants to find out if he's ill. After the
checkup the doctor comes out with the results of the examination.
"I'm afraid I have some bad news. You're dying and you
don't have much time," the doctor says. "Oh no,
that's terrible. How long have I got?", the man asks.
"10..." says the doctor.
"10? 10 what? Months? Weeks? What?!" he asks desperately.
were off on their annual trip to the Canadian wilderness to
bag a moose. As the seaplane landed on a lake in a remote
area, the pilot said, "I'll be back in one week to pick
you up. But only one moose, please."
When he returned to the lake, he found the hunters proudly
standing beside two moose.
"I told you guys only one moose!" the furious flier
screamed. "There's no way the plane can take off with
that much weight!"
"You're just a chicken pilot," one hunter said.
"We killed two moose last year and that pilot wasn't
afraid to take off."
Stung by the suggestion of cowardice, he reconsidered. "All
right, if you did it last year, I guess we can try it."
They loaded up and the pilot taxied to the far end of the
lake to begin his take-off. The plane bounced across the water
as it strained to get airborne, but the overloaded aircraft
finally ran out of space and crashed into the trees. Some
time later, the hunters regained consciousness.
"Where are we?" one asked.
His friend looked around at the scattered debris, then back
at the edge of the lake and replied, "Oh, I guess about
a hundred yards farther than last year."
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