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     Volume 4 Issue 43 | April 22, 2005 |

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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am 27 and waiting for my MBA results while working. Some months ago, I became involved with a girl who is about to give her SSC exams. I come from a middle-class family. My father passed away 12 years ago. I am my mother's only son and struggling to get by in life. The girl's father is a high official and their house rent is equal to my whole month's salary. I have told her about my situation but she still wants to marry me. I'm afraid that this may be an emotional decision on her part and that she may change her mind once she's older and understands the harsh realities of life. She is my first love and I care for her very much. Will she be able to adjust to my life? What should I do?

Dear KH,
If she is only about to sit for her SSC then why is she in a hurry to get married and why for that matter are you encouraging it? She needs to complete her education, at least get a basic degree before she thinks of marriage. The question of whether she can adjust with you will only come when she is mature enough to take such decisions. At present she is too young and her decision is based on romantic notions of love rather then well thought out reasons for choosing her life partner.

Dear Mita,
I have just completed my HSCs. My father passed away in 1998 and my sister, who lives in England, had encouraged me to give my IELTS to go there. My mother also wants this and has advised me to take private coaching for this as well as to try and get into university here first, just in case I don't do well in my IELTS exams and can't go. But I don't think I can handle both coaching and university together. What do you think I should do?

Dear BIN,
I do not understand why you should not be able to handle coaching and IELTS together. Your mother is being practical and you should be able to take up the challenge. Since you are not attending any other classes at this time, I believe you should be able to make the time to do both.

Dear Mita,
I'm studying computer science at a private university. I know I need to study a lot but I just can't, and, as a result, I don't do well in my exams. I'm not romantically involved and have no family problems. It is some unknown thing that is ruining my concentration and seriousness in my studies. How can I focus more on my studies?

Dear Anxious,
Students often go through these phases, therefore, there is no reason for alarm. However, you must think about it very carefully and somehow identify why this is happening. You also need to get motivated about yourself, your life and ambitions. As you know, the world is becoming more and more competitive. Anyone who falls behind has to pay a big price and finds it difficult to catch up again. Therefore, pull up your socks, tell yourself that there is nothing wrong with you and get to work. Set some realistic goals and work towards them.

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