the Love of Food
you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating
it too slowly.
*Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries
all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
*The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the
store in hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
*Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take
the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.
*A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake
of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
*If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the
freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what is
wrong with you?
*If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of
the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will
jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
*If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate,
is that a balanced diet?
*Money talks. Chocolate sings.
*Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you
*Q. Why is there no such organisation as Chocoholics Anonymous?
A. Because no one wants to quit.
*If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control
top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated.
*Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of
things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing
you love something, set it free.
If it comes back, it was and always will be yours.
If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.
If, however, it just sits in your living room,
messes up your stuff,
eats your food,
uses your telephone,
takes your money, and
never appears to have noticed that
you actually set it free in the first place,
You either married it or gave birth to it!
your stress level? This should help. It is more than a diet,
so read on... This diet is designed to help you cope with
the stress that builds up during the day.
1/2 grapefruit 1 slice whole wheat toast 8 oz. skim milk
Lunch: 4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast 1 cup steamed spinach
1 cup herb tea 1 Oreo cookie
Mid-Afternoon snack: The rest of Oreos in the package 2 pints
Rocky Road ice cream with nuts, cherries and whipped cream
1 jar hot fudge sauce
Dinner: 2 loaves garlic bread 4 cans or 1 large pitcher Coke
1 large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza 3 Snickers bars
Late Evening News: Entire frozen cheesecake (eaten directly
for this Diet
1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories
in the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if
you do not eat more than they do.
4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot
chocolate, toast and cheesecake.
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look
6. Movie related foods do not have additional calories because
they are part of the entertainment package and not part of
one's personal fuel. Example: buttered popcorn.
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking
causes calorie leakage.
8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if
you are in the process of preparing something.
9. Foods that have the same colour have the same number of
calories. Examples are: spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms
and mashed potatoes.
10. Chocolate is a universal colour and may be substituted
for any other food colour.
11. Anything consumed while standing has no calories. This
is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
12. Anything consumed from someone else's plate has no calories
since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and
will cling to his/her plate. (We ALL know how calories like
STRESSED SPELLED BACKWARDS IS DESSERTS
(R) thedailystar.net 2005