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     Volume 4 Issue 48 | May 27, 2005 |

   Cover Story
   News Notes
   Straight Talk
   Food For Thought
   In Retrospect
   Time Out
   Dhaka Diary
   Book Review
   New Flicks
   Write To MIta

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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am 21 and studying at a reputed university. I have a 22-year-old boyfriend studying at the same university. We have been engaged for six months. I have learned from him that he does not want me to make friends, even at university. He does not want me to go out as he thinks grown-up girls are meant to stay at home. He doesn't like me when I talk to my cousins or anyone else. He always doubts me and everything I do. My world is getting smaller due to this. I was in a three-month relationship four years ago. I have forgotten all about it but my boyfriend is always talking about my ex-boyfriend. He can't forgive or forget my past. I want to marry him after three years. Am I making the right decision?

Dear Worried,
I am afraid you are not making the right decision. Suspicion is like a disease and unless confronted right away tends to destroy relationships. You must be very sure of how much you want and love this person. If your life is restricted now, it will be more so in future. This will give rise to resentment and ultimate unhappiness. You should have a frank talk with your fiancé right away and explain your expectations from the relationship. My advice is that however painful it might be now, you should rethink this while there is still time and if need be, break it off.

Dear Mita,
I am a third year economics student of Dhaka University. I have many problems and feel like I am on the brink of ruin. I can't mix with people, not even my classmates. Sometimes I feel determined about doing something but then I neglect it. I can't express my feelings to others. All I feel is uncertainty and frustration. Please help me to overcome my problems and work towards a bright future.

Dear Lost,
If you are a student of economics at DU then you must be very bright and intelligent. I think that you are just going through a difficult phase and will get over it soon. Try to confide in a friend, cousin or even your siblings. Analyse the root causes of your present state of mind, for example when did this start, what caused it and what has been the consequence. Since you have identified and recognised the problem, the solution will not be too far away. You need to build up your self-image and self-confidence and the way to do this is by showing determination that you can do it.

Dear Mita,
I am a highly-skilled photographer with a degree from the Paris Photographic Institute. In the course of my free lance endeavours I accidentally stumbled upon what strongly resembles a love cult consisting mainly of several prominent affluent members of Dhaka's "Tinseltown". Aside from being involved in making rather distasteful movies, these individuals have perpetrated perverted sexual rituals which go against the moral backbone of our society. Some of these obscene acts are punishable by the law of the land. I am in a moral dilemma as to whether these photographsought to be published, hence exposing this terrible degeneration of oursociety, or should I protect the individuals' families who would be devastated? If I decide to expose these degenerates, how would the public react to their favourite actresses (the ones considerably over any weight limit a rational person would set for a dancer) violently gyrating with unmentionable props?
Troubled Photographer

Dear Troubled Photographer,
I will try to give advice though I honestly do not think this is a letter for Mita. In going public with any information please make sure that the rights of all parties are protected. This means that you have to contact those whose obscene acts you have discovered. Remember, even the accused deserve a chance to defend themselves. Please take legal counsel before you take any steps.

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