are made in HEAVEN
At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her
idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends.
"The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company.
He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!"
An old granny overheard and spoke up, "Honey, if that's
all you want, get a TV!"
A man really loved a woman, but he was just too shy to propose
to her. Now he was up in his years and neither of them had
ever been married. Of course, they dated about once a week
for the past six years, but he was so timid he just never
got around to suggesting marriage much less living together.
But one day, he became determined to ask her the question.
So he calls her on the phone, "June."
"Yes, this is June."
"Will you marry me?"
"Of course I will! Who's this?"
at the Wedding
At a friend's wedding, everything went smoothly until it was
time for the flower girl and her young escort to come down
The boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests. When
asked afterward why he behaved so badly, he explained, "I
was just trying to be a good ring bear."
for a birthday
A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One
day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told
her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year
of her life.
That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one
roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing
the next morning.
As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that since
the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra
dozen roses in the bouquet.
The fellow never did find out what made the young girl so
angry with him.
Father, Like Husband?
If it's true that girls are inclined to marry men like their
fathers, it is understandable why so many mothers cry so much
Getting revenge with marriage
Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around
his bed. With a low voice he sad to his wife: "When I'm
dead I want you to marry farmer Jones."
Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you."
Johnson: "But I want you to."
Wife: "But why?"
Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"
ten things not to say on your Anniversary
10. I stopped caring about anniversaries when you stopped
caring about cooking.
9. Today is our what?
8. Okay, let's celebrate, but do we have to celebrate together?
7. I thought we only celebrated important events?
6. You can celebrate anniversaries with your next husband.
5. You don't like what I pick out, so I thought why bother.
4. I got you a present worth a dollar for every time you were
nice to me this year. Here's a $5 gift certificate for McDonald's.
3. If you want me to pretend like I care about our anniversary,
2. You want to go out to dinner? Okay, okay, I'll take you
to Pizza Hut if it'll shut ya up.
1. I thought you only had to celebrate anniversaries while
you were still in love.
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