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     Volume 4 Issue 57 | August 5 , 2005 |

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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am a student of Alim class. My family is very needy and I have been bearing my own expenses since class 8. I'm very interested in studying and gaining knowledge. After my Dakhil exams I've been living in a lodging. But my students aren't very bright. One of them especially I have a hard time teaching. Often I can't concentrate on my studies but a good relationship has formed between my family and the lodging family and it wouldn't be nice of me to leave. I got GPA 5 in my Dakhil exams but am worried about my Alim results. What should I do?

Dear MAT,
Since you have come so far on your own you must have a little more patience and continue. If you remain determined and focused you will be able to over come any obstacle. You must now concentrate on studying and also planning what you will do after the Alim exams.

Dear Mita,
Despite getting good results (star marks) in my HSC exams, I am a first year BSc (pass course) college student. I live in a mess in Dhaka but cannot make do with the money my father sends me. I am badly in need of a source of income. But I don't have any knowledge of information technology (IT) or professional training which would enable me to try for a part-time job. Neither can I afford the above. I have tried to work as a private tutor but failed as I don't have a university label on me. The thought of all my aspirations being shot down frustrates me and hampers my studies for I can't concentrate. Please help.

Dear R,
Please remember that these are temporary phases in your life and will soon pass. Many students of small means have survived such monetary crisis through their determination and self belief. If IT training is essential then go out and get it. I am sure you will find many students without the University label. It is question of trying and believing that you can do it.

Dear Mita,
I am 20, daughter of a lower middle-class family. My only younger brother is in class 6. I failed to get into university last year but will try again. A man proposed to me in a rather strange manner. He asked if we could live together our whole lives. According to him, marriage is actually a system of legalised prostitution. It's a deal, a contract with money being given in the form of den mohor, whereby the man becomes supreme over the woman. It's a boring life and fragile with the couple always having to compromise. I appreciated his way of thinking and agreed with it. Right now we want to do something for our parents and for our country. We have gotten into college. We love each other very much and our families are alike in that we don't believe in any religion. Do you think all this is okay? Please advise.

Dear SA,
Although I do not agree with this person's description of marriage, this is an issue of values and belief. I prefer not to comment. If both of you are happy and your parents are also fine with the situation and since this is not causing anyone harm, I do not think it should be anybody's business to say if this is right or wrong.

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