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     Volume 4 Issue 59 | August 19, 2005 |

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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
A year ago, when I found most of my classmates at Dhaka University using mobile phones, I dreamt of doing the same. I had even selected some girls in my class to give "missed calls" to. After I got my own mobile phone, I started giving missed calls and sending text messages to a girl named "F". Even while sitting in class I would ring her mobile. Once, during a very important class when everyone was concentrating on what the teacher was saying, I gave her a missed call and everybody started laughing. The teacher gave her a long and bitter lecture on this. Sometimes I would send her songs over mobile. I bothered her for about a year like this, without her knowing it was me. But now I'm very ashamed of my behaviour and repentant. I want to apologise to her but how should I do this?

Dear AI,
Undoubtedly you have done something very immature. However, you are repentant and that is important. The most honourable thing for you to do now is to own up and tell her that it was you who has been bothering her. She might not forgive you but at least you will have the satisfaction that at some point you were honest about it. Actually it is impossible to undo what you have already done. The only thing to do is to learn from your mistakes and try not to ever repeat it.

Dear Mita,
I used to tutor a girl in Class 9 in 1999. She fell in love with me but I didn't realise it. Her family also liked me a lot. But after I found out about her feelings I stopped all contact with her and her family because I wasn't interested in her and I didn't know whether she was a good girl or not. I actually avoided her. But now, six years later, she still calls me. She's crazy about me. I asked her whether she still loved me and she said she had been waiting for me for five years but I had avoided her. She said there was a boy who liked her and just because I avoided her she got involved with him, even though she knew he wasn't a good boy. She says her life is ruined and I'm responsible. But I didn't promise her anything and so I didn't cheat her. It's her life. But have I destroyed it?

Dear R,
I think the girl is over-dramatising the whole affair. Since you did not promise her anything, nor did you cheat her, there is no reason to feel guilty about anything. You might feel sympathetic to her situation but you have certainly not ruined her life. If she decides to choose someone who is not worthy then she has only herself to blame. There is no rationality to shift the blame on you. Moreover, she is still young and will recover, provided she learns to take mature decisions about her life partner.

Dear Mita,
I have just completed my HSC exams and am suffering from financial problems. I tutor three English medium students but I spend half of what I earn on conveyance alone, and my total expenses are more than my total earnings anyway. I feel very pressurised because of this and have trouble sleeping and functioning properly. What should I do?

Dear KH,
Whatever your financial problem may be you must complete your education. I realise that sometimes this becomes very difficult to do. However, there is no other alternative. It is only through education that you can change your life for the better. You must forget your present worries and concentrate on the future. However stressful this might be, you will have to continue. I can assure you that your determination will see you through.

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