You are Better
After almost a year without missing a single week with my column, I have decided to take a vacation this week. I will admit I have been late with the deadline, and but for a biased editor, I would have well deserved the sack. With that sort of backing I had to carry on relentlessly. Rain, hail or thunder could not deter me, mainly because I work indoors; and that is why this is one vacation I very much deserve. So, there will be no Chintito this week. Makes no difference to you, I know, but it does to me.
A vacation needs a lot of prior planning.
Is there any place you would like to go? Do you have the money to travel? Even if you have the money, do you have the nerve to visit another district? So you look up the net and toy with the idea of a trip to Europe, just for kicks. www.europe.com...
Q: What is the best time of year to travel to Europe, in terms of cheaper rates and fewer tourists, but things are still open?
A: For a combination of good weather and lack of tourist crowding, April, May, early June, late September, and October is recommended. Most of the important outdoor attractions are open during those months. About all you'll miss are the few special festivals that have limited peak-season runs.
Good for me, this is late August. And the foremost reason I was going to Europe was for the few special festivals that they say (tch tch) I shall miss. How awful! So that's how you bust an overseas trip.
Is there some unfinished business that you would like to attend to? It's nothing bad. Most guys work during a vacation. That is why they think they can take the rest of the year off.
Would you want to go and visit your favourite aunt? I know some guys would rather work.
Is there a recipe you would like to try? You missed the early part of the cookery show on TV, but from what you saw you are confident you can make something of it. What better time to be stuck at home with a bellyache than on a vacation?
The problem is a vacation comes so quickly that it is there before you know it.
Having remained undecided till the last working day, you finally decide to travel somewhere you can afford, your home.
You decide to finish the work due next week so that you can relax when you are working. Funny, that's what a psychologist will tell you to do. No other nation follows so diligently the teachings of psychology than mine.
Since you will be off work you decide to ring your aunts and ask them to come over. Basically you would like to test your memory and see if you can recognise most of them. This is a little game you play all by yourself. You get some relief there too, because some of your long lost aunts are so very shocked by your invitation, that they fall sick and are not fit to make the journey. You had it all planned, didn't you?
At the start of the laid off week, you now have time to remember that there was this stuffed pizza you always wanted to try. So you pick up the phone and order one. You are about to start a vacation at home, man. So what the heck!
The first day of the vacation is the worst. No one knows you are off work and so while you planned to sleep till late morning, the front door chimes at half past seven. Guess what, it's your aunt from Gandaria. She giggles as she walks through the threshold because she confused your PM for her AM. Now she will be here for another twelve hours before she was actually invited. Not a bad way to start a well deserved break, breakfast with your aunt.
At ten o'clock you are waiting and waiting, but that coffee is not coming. This is not your office, you realise at some stage. You have no coffee at home and the nearest thing you have laid out in front of you is your early aunty's handicraft a glass of bel-er sherbet. She says she heard you burp over breakfast.
You want to catch up on some personal paperwork that you intend to finish to make this a useful vacation. Then you realise you have the most important document safe in a locker at the office.
So switch on the telly. There you go! The same ads that you have been seeing while working are being shown when you are on vacation. Unfair!
So you pick up a book. It's the same book you have been trying to finish for the past six months.
Ah! Then you have the most brilliant of ideas. Why not call up the office and have a chat with the lads? In fact you could even visit the office and tell them you were just passing by and so dropped by. Never tell them you are out of your wits to find something to do or that you are bored at home. They will understand.
British novelist Jane Austen was in love with the English town Bath. In 'Northanger Abbey' she wrote "Oh! Who can ever be tired of Bath?" Without wanting to sound rude, may I suggest the people who live in Bath?
I have no idea why I am having this prolonged conversation with you when I am supposed to have my week off. Come on guys, a guy needs a break.
(R) thedailystar.net 2005