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     Volume 4 Issue 66 | October 7, 2005 |

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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am 22 years old. I have a female friend who is very nice and caring. She considers me to be her best male friend and she is my best female friend. She has told me about guys who have proposed to her but she refused them because it is not possible for her to be involved with anyone the same age as her. My problem is that I also love her . . . I have never expressed my feelings to her but I can't consider her merely as a friend. My times with her are memories that will hurt me in future. But if I tell her about my feelings, she will be hurt. There is no way I can hurt her because I love her. What should I do?

Dear Nervous,
Friendship often turns to love eventually and there is nothing wrong with this. If you love her then you must have the courage to tell her. However, you must not be too disappointed or hurt if you get a negative response. As for her, she might be surprised but I doubt she will be hurt if you express your love. Both of you are 22 and mature enough to face such situations.

Dear Mita,
I am a final year student of BUET. I tutor a girl who is a second year HSC student. I have been tutoring her since she was in Class 9. There is a good relation between her family and myself. I have been in love with her for three years and recently told her about my feelings. She did not say yes or no. After I graduate, can my family send a proposal to hers? I'm afraid of being refused, which would be very shameful for us.

Dear AS,
Falling in love with students is not a very ethical thing to do and I have always opposed it. Parents put their trust in you when you are employed as a teacher, this trust should not be violated. However, in your case you have waited till the girl is of a reasonable age. I cannot say if her parents will accept the proposal or not. It depends on the impression you have made on them and also what feelings this girl has for you.

Dear Mita,
I am a student of Class 10. I am an average student. But I want to get good results and don't think about anything other than my studies. Recently my best friend proposed to me but I refused him. He has stopped talking to me since then. But I want to remain friends with him without being romantically involved. What should I do?

Dear Z,
You have done the right thing and if he had any sense he would understand. You are in class 10 and this is hardly the age to be accepting serious proposals. This is the time for you to study, play and make lots of friends. Tell you friend that there will be plenty of time to have serious relationships and it is much better and fun to be friends for the time being.

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