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     Volume 4 Issue 69 | October 28, 2005 |

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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
Dear Mita,
I graduated in computer science from National University two years ago. I got an average job with not much of a future, thinking that I would get a better job later. But I haven't yet, and the experience I've gained here seems to be of no use. I'm just wasting my time here. I have no family to provide for and I have yet to complete my Masters. But to get admission in a good university I have to study. Though I don't have huge pressure at work and am totally free at night, I can't study because I can't concentrate. What should I do? Should I quit and study or continue with this job?

Dear R,
If you are unhappy with your present job then you should start to look for another one soon. But be sure that you find a job before you leave this one. It is easier to find a job when you already have one rather than when you are unemployed. Regarding studies, this is a choice you will have to make yourself. Many young people work and at the same study resulting in good results. If this is too much pressure for you and if you can afford it then probably it is a good idea to quit your job and give full time to your studies.

Dear Mita,
I'm a 18 year old guy, and I'm gay. I've been shunted and insulted by the society these last three years. I have had a hard time coping with it all, but now I've found a greater problem. I'm at an age when most people are engaged in romance. I am obviously excluded from all this. The social atmosphere in this country has made it impossible for other homosexuals to come out in the open, and if people know I want to date boys, I'll be a laughing stock. But I can't take this pressure and torture anymore. I can't take this state of always being pointed at and sneered at. People say I'm mutated. But they don't understand that it's not my fault. I never told God to make me like this. I want to be accepted as normal. I know some other boys like me, but I'm doubtful about approaching them. There is a big chance that they might just be pranksters and want to humiliate people like us in public. Please help me find a way out of this inferno.

Dear Mutated,
I understand your problem but am very sorry to tell you that I do not have any expertise in this field in order to give you any professional advice. The only thing I can say is to form support groups of like-minded and sympathetic people. It is very difficult to cope in a society where difference is not accepted easily. You can also think of consulting a psychologist.

Dear Mita,
I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like different people at different times and with different people. I act differently, feel differently, even think differently. I feel like a whole different person at times. Sometimes I do things I wouldn't usually do, or at least which I didn't used to, so it would feel like it wasn't me, but now, it has become a continuous thing and I don't know which is the real me anymore or even if there is one. Am I going crazy? Am I schizophrenic?

Dear AK,
You are not a schizophrenic but if you have any doubts then you should see a psychiatrist who can do an assessment. Normally a schizophrenic will not admit there is any problem and will go about his/her business normally. Since you are debating about your situation it is highly unlikely that you have any such problem. It is a state of mind and you should be able to get over it with determination and will power. Usually, your life is what you make of it. Take control of it and guide it the way you want to. Don't let some imaginary state of mind get in the way.

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