Food For Thought
Slice of Life
Top Ten Questions that Make You Go 'Huh':
- How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
- What happens if you get scared to death twice?
- If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?
- If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
- If you write a book about failure, and it doesn't sell, is it a success?
- If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
- If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
- If Superman is so smart, why does he wear underpants over his trousers?
- If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
- Why is it that if someone tells you there are 1 billion stars in the universe, you will believe them, but if someone tells you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
Top 10 Most Rejected Children's Book Titles:
10 Reasons Why it is So Cool to be a Man:
- The Magical World Inside The Abandoned Refrigerator
- Where to Find the Toys in the Oven
- 101 Games to Play in the Road
- Homemade Fireworks using a Bathtub, a Blowdryer, and a Fork
- Your Nightmares are real
- Monsters Killed Grandpa
- All Guns Squirt Water
- How Fun it is to Tie a Squirrel to a Kite
- If its Storming Out--The Best Place to Keep Shelter is Under a tree
- Dad's New Wife Robert
- Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
- You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
- You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
- If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
- Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
- Same work, more pay.
- Grey hair and wrinkles only add character.
- If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
- The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
- Eid shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, the day before, in 45 minutes.
Things not to say to police officers:
- Sorry, Officer, I didn't realise my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
- Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
- Are You Andy or Barney?
- I thought you had to be in good physical condition to be a police officer.
- You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
- I pay your salary!
- Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
- Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
- I was trying to keep up with traffic. I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
- When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
Copyright (R) thedailystar.net 2005