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     Volume 5 Issue 85 | March 10, 2006 |

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Fun Things to Do in an Elevator
♦ Make racecar noises when anyone gets on or off.
♦ Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
♦ Shave.
♦ Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
♦ Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
♦ When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
♦ Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
♦ On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
♦ Do Tai Chi exercises.
♦ Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
♦ When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, motion sickness!"
♦ Give religious tracts to each passenger.
♦ Meow occasionally.
♦ Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
♦ Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
♦ Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
♦ Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
♦ Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
♦ Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
♦ Say "Ding!" at each floor.
♦ Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
♦ Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
♦ Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
♦ Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
♦ Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
♦ Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
♦ Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
♦ Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."


Source: ahajokes.com


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