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     Volume 5 Issue 85 | March 10, 2006 |

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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am 25 years old. You are the only person I can confide about this particular problem I am facing. I just recently discovered that someone in my house, an elderly, is sexually abusing a maid of the house who is only around 12 years old. I noticed her behaviour was odd and after much inquisition she told me in detail about what is being done to her. Now I am in a fix. I have no idea what to do. The maid begged me not to tell anyone because she is afraid that if people know about it she is going to be stigmatised by society.

Dear Perplexed,
What do you mean you do not know what to do about this.? You should do everything in your power to stop the abuse and protect this girl. It is because we keep silent that such exploitation continues meanwhile perverts like this elderly person go free. You should not allow this to happen in you home. Take what ever measures is necessary but do not keep quiet about such a horrible thing. Remaining quiet in such a situation means you are abetting a crime and that too on a young and innocent person.

Dear Mita,
I am a student of class X and I have a severe problem. I am in love with a girl who is two years older than I am. Moreover, she happens to be my cousin. Our families are not in good terms either. That is why I cannot express my feelings to her. But I can't seem to concentrate on my work either. If I express myself to her the problem will get deeper but I can't live without her and am determined to tell her so. Also I don't think she likes me at all. I want your suggestion in this regard. I think you will say that I am too young but I want your advice for future reference.

Dear NH,
I will certainly say that you are too young but more importantly, the girl is not interested in you. In such a situation I don't think you can go very far. She might be interested in someone else for all you know. Therefore, it is better that you start to make friends with someone your age. You will be able to concentrate on your work if you really try and determined to move ahead in life.

Dear Mita,
I am a 23-year-old woman. I have been going out with a guy, who is now 29, for almost five years now and are planning to get married in a few months time. Both our families are on good terms and everything is pretty much fixed. Recently I have come to know that he takes marijuana. At first I did not believe as he is a 9-5 office-goer and we share all our good and bad things. But after much probing his family members and my fiancé himself admitted to the fact. His family says that they are hoping that he will stop taking the drugs after he gets married and has to look after a family. But now I am extremely confused, as I have lost all faith in him. Besides, my parents trust and care about me a lot and if they ever find out this fact, there will be no end to their pain. Do you think I should continue with our scheduled marriage, should I break up with him or should I postpone it?

Dear Wilted,
Admittedly this is a matter of grave concern. He owes you an explanation and this is something you must demand. Regarding whether you should postpone the marriage, well it might not be such a bad idea. This way you will get more time to think and decide how much you can support him. It is true that your love and support might change him and he will get over this bad habit. On the other hand he must make a real effort also. It all depends on how much you care about him. If your feeling is deep and intense you may take this as a challenge. There are many instances of people who have come out of this habit with the right kind of support and therapy.

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