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     Volume 5 Issue 88 | March 31, 2006 |

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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
Last year I passed my HSC exams and my results were not too bad. I want to be an engineer. I am the only son of my parents and I have four elder sisters. It's not only my teachers and family but also the villagers who also have very high hopes from me. I come from a middle-class family and my parents work very hard. Although they live very economically whenever I ask for any money they do not hesitate to give it to me. Unfortunately I failed to get admitted to any university. I am so disappointed and disgusted with myself. I have decided to suicide because it's impossible for me to live with dishonour. Please help me.

Dear Unfortunate,
Please forgive me but this is the most ridiculous thing I have heard in a long time. Disappointments are a part of life. Facing them and then prevailing is the crucial difference between people who will succeed and who will not. You are blessed with supportive parents, have received the best education then why should you commit suicide? It was bad luck that you could not get admission but this is certainly not the end of the road. There will be many opportunities in life when you will be able to prove yourself. Get out of this state of mind as soon as possible and start to plan what you will do next.

Dear Mita,
I love a boy very much. I have expressed my feelings to him but he told me that he could only consider me as a friend but not more than that. He is a very smart boy and I am a very plain girl. I know this is the reason of his refusing me. I accepted his answer and since then we are the best of friends. But from the core of my heart I know I still love him and day-by-day my liking for him is increasing. I always pretend that we are friends and try to hide my feelings for him. But sometimes I cannot act rationally. If he talks with other girls I feel very jealous and furious, if I don't see him in the classroom I cannot concentrate on the lecture and my whole day passes very badly. I am a very sensible and practical girl and I am realising that this situation is very harmful for me. That's why I decided to cut every kind of contact with him and tried to act according to that. But I could not. I am not well. I don't have any other friends except him, so I don't have the chance to share my feelings and seeking help. Can you help me to get out of this?

Dear Helpless,
This must be painful but you are not the first or last person on earth who is facing pain due to a failed relationship. Things do not always work out the way we want or plan. That is life and we have to accept it. However, pain is not always negative. Often deep disappointment leads us to do extraordinary things. That should be your attitude. Get over this and show to yourself and the world that you are strong, confident and capable of handling such disappointments. If you are determined and address this problem with a sense of pride then you will surely over come it.

Dear Mita,
I am a fourth year student of Eden College. My problem is very complex. A few months ago, I met a first year boy of Dhaka University who took my phone number and started calling me. I have met him many times. In the course of time we have become very close to each other. But the problem is that I think he has fallen in love with me and can't express it to me. He is suffering. I can't clear my position to him that it is not possible for me to love him. But when he suffers I also suffer. What can I do?

Dear Sufferer,
You will of course have to decide what is it that you feel about him. Is it love, sympathy or just friendship? I am sure you can distinguish between these. If it is not possible for you to love him for some reason then you should tell him now instead of letting this linger. It is better to suffer now than to get into something that will have more serious consequences.



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