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     Volume 5 Issue 92 | April 28, 2006 |

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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am a 20-year-old girl. I am an excessively shy person. I'm a very good student and have always done very well in my exams but this particular trait of mine is causing major problems now that I am studying BBA. I have to do presentations in class and for assignments I have to go out a lot and talk to people. This is just not my thing. My marks have already gone down because I have shied away from a number of these assignments. Please tell me how I can get over this. Do you think I should speak to a counsellor? I have also in fact considered giving up BBA and studying some Social Science subject where I won't have to rely too much on presentations or anything that involves talking to too many people. Do you think that's a better option for me?

Dear Shy,
You should not give up BBA because this is the best way to get over your shyness. The more presentations you make the more confident you will feel. Everyone feels some amount of nervousness when appearing in public. This is not unusual at all. Just don't say no to any such assignment, go ahead and do it. I can guarantee that you will succeed eventually. Talking to a counsellor is not a bad idea . Actually shyness is a manifestation of how you feel about yourself and there is no reason not to feel good about yourself. You are a good student, the fact that you got admitted into BBA proves it. So please don't blow this, stay the course and you will eventually succeed.

Dear Mita,
I am a student of class 10. I'm not a good student but last year my GPA was 4.5 in our school final exam. My mother isn't too satisfied with my results and I know that she is always worried about me. But she can't understand my teenage problems. All she wants me to do is study. I know that it's the time to sow the seeds for the future but I also want to live my life to the fullest. I love a guy who is 10 years older than me. My mom knows about him and can't stand him though he's an excellent person. He's a very good student too. I want to tell her how much I love this guy but I don't have the courage to do so as I am very scared of her. She'll get insanely angry if I tell her about him. What should I do?

Dear Hopeless,
I have to say that I agree with your mother for getting upset over a possible relationship with someone who is 10 years older than you. This is a huge gap since you are just in class 10. If you want to live your life to the fullest then go and have a good time. Make friends, take up a hobby, study hard and enjoy your self instead of getting tied down to a single serious relationship.

Dear Mita,
I am studying Physics (Honours) at MC College. I am now in my final year. I am in love with a very pretty girl who is junior to me by around eight years. She is just studying for her HSCs now. I love her very much and want to marry her. She wants so too. But I am facing two problems. Firstly, she is much younger than me and secondly, her father is a very renowned businessman and reluctant to accept our relationship. I come from a middle-class family and cannot compare with her high-class family. Please tell me what I can do in such a critical situation. How can I make her father accept our relationship?

Dear SD,
First, think hard again if this is the right girl for you. If it is then prove your worth to her and her family. That is, complete your education and get a job. Meanwhile, she should continue to study also. An HSC student is in no position to get married. If you both are serious then there is no reason why your intentions should not succeed. Parents are rarely able to stop their adult children from forming serious relationships and getting married.



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