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     Volume 5 Issue 94 | May 12, 2006 |

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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am 20 years old. For more than three years I have been in love with a girl though we were friends earlier. We have a very good relationship but she only wants to be friends with me. She has directly said that she doesn't love me. But I can't forget her as she is my first love. I can't think of anyone else as my life partner. Though she avoids me when I try to tell her about my love I believe one day she will come to me. I think she avoids me as I am not established and her family might not approve of our relationship. So should I pass my days keeping her in my mind or not? If my belief will be wrong and she won't come to me then will it be right to ask her out? Please tell me what I should do.

Dear Rezwan,
If you are so sure that she will ultimately come to you then you can go ahead and continue this relationship but only in state of friendship. Remember, both of you are young and people change as they go along. If she is not interested in a serious affair then you should not insist on it. Love should be totally voluntary and without any pressure. Suppose she genuinely does not love you then it will be a mistake to continue with this.

Dear Mita,
I am 24 years old. I always dreamt about a girl having the qualities of merit, good character and beauty coming to my life. Fortunately I have a cousin who resembles my fantasy. But she is 10 years younger than I am. So I'm not sure if she'll match with me. Finally I'm not steady enough to propose to her. Would you please tell me what I should do now?

Dear Anopon,
Frankly, I am shocked and disappointed that at age 24 you are even contemplating a relationship with a 14 year old cousin! If you take my advise then just let her be the young school girl that she is now and look for a serious relationship somewhere else.

Dear Mita,
I am a 23-year-old university student. I got introduced to a girl in my class when I first got admitted to university and later became very intimate friends. I would share my feelings with her and would cut jokes on various matters. As I am in the habit of cracking nasty jokes I would try to amuse her with my naughty wit. She had a good sense of humour and took it very well but at one stage she started suspecting that I had a weakness for her. Based on her misconceptions, she would behave strangely with me . But I never wanted her in any other way than a friend. I can never think of losing her as my friend. Can you give me any suggestions?

Dear Mahi,
Since you want her just as a friend you should talk directly with her and clear the matter. This way if there is any scope for misunderstanding then it will be removed. However, in future be careful about the kind of jokes you crack, this can and does lead to misunderstandings which is regretted later on.


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