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     Volume 5 Issue 97 | June 2, 2006 |

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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am a student and currently in a dilemma with my girl friend, J. she is facing pressure from her family to get married to someone else. Now she is insisting that I must marry her as soon as possible. But I have two elder sisters and a brother, besides as I am still a student my family is not contemplating marriage for me. Moreover none of my family members are willing to accept J as my bride. My Masters exam is coming up but I can't focus on my studies. I am very frustrated. Can you please suggest what I should do? I envy my friends who are free of such burden, busy building their careers and passing their days in utmost joy. Love, it seems, is not always a blessing.

Dear SA,
Love is not about pressure and tension. It is about caring and sharing And understanding each others problems and difficulties. If you are feeling so pressurized then perhaps you should get out of this relationship. If you are too deeply involved then make her understand that this is not the right time . Both of you need to build your career before embarking into such a serious commitment. Explain to your girlfriend that her parents cannot force her to marry someone else. If she remains determined then there is no way that her parents will not eventually relent.

Dear Mita,
I am an 18-year-old girl. Around 18 months ago I met a guy over the Internet who was 10 years older than me. We started out as friends but later got physically involved. It seemed like fun at that time. As days went by, I started to fall in love with him. But I know that nothing is possible between us because firstly he's a lot older than me and secondly he does not have the same feelings for me. He's also involved with other girls. Even after knowing all these things I cannot forget him. I tried to end the relationship but I miss him so much I just end up calling him up again. Sometimes he avoids my calls and those days are like hell for me. I can't concentrate on anything. Later when he calls he makes up some lame excuse for not calling. I expect too much from him and when I don't get it I feel very frustrated and depressed. I cannot leave him because I just miss him too much. Please tell me what I should do.

Dear Confused,
If you had any self respect then you would get out of this relationship right away. You should realise that he is just using you. It is really disgusting that a man 10 years older is exploiting you and you are taking it. He does not love you, you have no place in his life. This relationship has no future and therefore should end. It might be painful for a while but you will get over it. Please try to mix with people close to your age.

Dear Mita,
I am a student of Honours (first year) and a very frustrated guy. A few months ago a friend gave me a girl's photo who is his relative. At first I did not pay much attention to the photo but later the photo start to have an effect on me. Now I am badly in love with her. Her eyes, face and smile have enchanted me and I can't bear to pass a single day without watching her photo. But in this situation I feel shy and face some problems. She is only a student of class six. I am very eager to make a good relation with her and when the time is right I want her as my life partner. Please suggest me positively on what I should do now.

Dear IUK,
If you have ever read my column you would not have written this letter as you would have known my answer. I absolutely do not approve any relationship between a 20 year old with a girl of class 6!. This is not love but just an infatuation with a photograph and I am sorry to say does not deserve my answer. You have a long way to go in life. Please spend you time in a more constructive fashion.



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