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     Volume 5 Issue 98 | June 9, 2006 |

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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am a 14-year-old girl. My widowed grandmother has been staying with us for a few years now and frankly has made my life miserable. She picks on everything I do and orders me around the house for everything. She's not an invalid but she can't even get her own glasses which are on the table next to her bed. She won't give me any privacy and rants on about how girls were different during her time. When I have exams she won't let me study in peace and makes me run all her errands. And if I refuse to do them, she starts shouting about how we don't know how to respect the elders, etc. In fact my mom has witnessed some of these things and has said that I shouldn't take these seriously. But I can't stand it any longer. Please tell me what I should do.

Dear Ribu,
We all know that elderly people can often be difficult. You should try to humour her as much as possible. But to a certain limit. If her action is hampering your studies then your parents should intervene. They must make sure that you have privacy and your life does not become miserable just because a grandparent is staying with you. Grandparents are only supposed to bring joy and happiness to our lives. They have the unique advantage of spoiling their grandchildren without being responsible for them. Also remember, she will not be with you forever or for too long so don't do or say anything that you might regret later on.

Dear Mita
On 28th May I took a bus from Science Laboratory and was going towards Savar when I saw a beautiful young lady wearing a light pink coloured scarf with her sunglasses on top of her head. She was accompanied by another lady and a young boy and they were sitting in the middle of the bus carrying two cane chairs. This is all I know about the woman I have fallen in love with. I was standing in the bus and our eyes met 5/6 times during our journey. I felt that she had acknowledged my love for her. It was raining when I left the bus. I stood there and watched them till the bus took off. I don't know where they've gone but from that moment I can't stop thinking about her. I'm doing my M.Sc. from a reputed public university. Will you please suggest me how to get her? Please don't tell me to forget this.

Dear A,
I am sorry but I have no other answer for you. This is all very romantic and is only good for the movies. In real life things take place a little differently. While I acknowledge that love at first sight does happen but that also has to be based on some kind of reality. Most probably you will never see the girl again. Even if you do, the exchange of love between you might be a figment of your imagination. She might be married or engaged and I could go on and on. So please get a hold of yourself and come back to the real world.

Dear Mita,
I am a young guy of 22 doing my Honours from a public university. I always suffer from indecision. In the past I made some wrong decisions regarding my own life that has brought disaster on me and I am still bearing the bad effects of those decisions. Recently I have fallen in love with one of my classmates. I'm sure that she's not going out with anyone at the moment. But I still can't decide whether I should propose to her or not. I am apprehensive that if I start going out with her there will be another disaster. But I really want her from the bottom of my heart. Would you please advise me as to how I can overcome this critical situation?

Dear Prince,
To propose or not to propose is a difficult decision so there is nothing wrong in taking time to decide. However, before you do that try to find out if she likes you. She might not be going out with anyone, but that does not necessarily mean that she is interested in you. The relationship between you should be that of friends which might turn to love. One-sided love will cause pain to one and embarrassment to both of you.



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