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     Volume 5 Issue 100 | June 23, 2006 |

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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am 16 years old and will be sitting for my SSC exams next year. I am the youngest son of five brothers and sisters and everyone in the family treats me like a baby. My mum still does not allow me to go to school alone, although it's only a 10-minute walk from my house. In fact I can't go anywhere alone. I'm only allowed to talk to my friends over the phone. I have never had a friend over to my house, nor have I ever visited any of them. Although I have cousins whom I am allowed to hang out with at home, I still wish I could spend time with my school mates. My older brothers and sisters are always telling me what to do and my mum still wants to accost me when I want to buy clothes for myself. How do you think I can ever get out of this web?

Dear N,
Admittedly this can be very frustrating. You have to prove to your parents that you are now old enough to have friends and meet with them independently. Try to convince your siblings maybe they will be more cooperative. Discuss this with your parents and ask them to explain why you cannot have friends over to your house. However, remember, this is just a phase and will soon pass. Before you know it you will be in college with much more independence.

Dear Mita
I'm a twenty-eight-year-old man. Recently, I have decided to get married. I went to see a girl of about twenty-four years. I'm a very short person and the girl we saw turned out to be short as well. Considering all things the girl seems to be exactly what I had been looking for. My family members, friends and relatives say that they like everything about the girl except for her height. As far as I know, the girl and her family are thinking about taking our relationship to the next level. But my parents are showing strong dissent in this regard. Now I'm in a real fix about what to do. Please help me out here.

Dear Indecisive,
You have to set your priority right. If your aim is to meet the right girl to marry then height has nothing to do with it. I really do not see the logic behind the fact that you are short therefore a short girl is not suitable. Moreover, a tall girl might want to marry a tall person also. If you feel strongly that this is the right girl for you then try to convince your parents and tell them that height does not make a happy marriage.

Dr Mita
I am 20 years old and recently got admitted into Independent University. A month ago I started talking to a girl, "Z", over the phone. From the very first day I started to fall deeply in love with her. Then I lied to her and said that I was a Muslim although I'm a Hindu. A few days later I proposed to her and she accepted. I wanted to tell her the truth but she accidentally got to know about it from someone else. Now she wants to break-up our relationship. I know she loves me a lot but she is refusing to think beyond our difference in religion. I don't think religion is more important than love. Now I can't concentrate on my studies. I can't live without her. I'm destroying myself. She is in the same condition. Please tell me what I should do?

Dear TL,
In a society where religious and social norms are so important it was very wrong of you not to tell her about your religion right in the beginning. She has all the right to be upset. your future depends on how strongly you feel about each other. Sometimes love is so strong that it is willing to overcome all obstacles. It really depends on you both now. If she is not strong enough to persist with the relationship then you will have to accept her decision.


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