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     Volume 5 Issue 102 | July 7, 2006 |

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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am 25 years old and recently completed my Masters from a well-known public university. Throughout my life I have always had very impressive academic results. But now I am facing a big dilemma. My family is a very conservative one and it is only because of my good results that I have been able to study this far whereas all my other girl cousins have only studied till HSC and then got married. Now that I have completed my Masters my parents want to marry me off. But I have already got good offers from many private organisations and don't want to get married yet. I also know that my parents will fix me up with a guy from another very conservative family where I will only be a housewife for the rest of my life. I am a very ambitious person and I know that I can do something good for the country but my parents think ambition is only for men and women are meant to cook and raise children. Please tell me what I should do.

Dear Stifled,
You are facing the same challenges as other ambitious women in our society. This is a struggle that you will have to wage with courage and determination. Remember, nobody can force you to get married if you do not want to. However, you must be clear in you mind as to what you want out of life. Being ambitious does not mean that you will never get married or raise a family. In this day and age it is possible to have a career and a family. It needs determination which I know you have.

Dear Mita,
I'm a teenager, and I have a cousin who's of my age. This cousin is a very 'romantic' type of person. Whenever he sees a pretty girl, he falls in love with her. Sometimes he falls in love with girls who are older than him or with girls whom he has seen only once in his entire life. Until today he has fallen in 'love' with more than 9 different girls! Every time he sees a pretty girl, he forgets his 'ex-love' and turns his attention towards his new 'love'. A few days ago he fell in love with a classmate at his coaching centre. But after a few days, she left him. After that, his grades started to fall. His parents have given up on him, but as I'm his cousin and also his friend, I tried to talk to him. I told him we are not old enough to get into serious relationships, and that what he feels is nothing but infatuation. But he pays no heed. He thinks that I am not as mature as him. But, I am concerned about him. If this continues, he will certainly get bad grades in his O level exams. Is he suffering from a mental disorder? Should we consult a psychiatrist? Please help me.

Dear Concerned,
I do not think that your cousin has a mental problem. He is just immature and is having difficulty in the transition period to adulthood. He does not need a psychiatrist but a true friend such as you. However, he will have to take responsibility for his actions. If he does not do well in his O levels then it will be entirely his fault. You can only advise him, the rest he will have to do himself. Don't worry too much over this, it will sort out soon enough.

Dear Mita,
I have completed BBA and MBA from a well-known Private University with good results. But I am not getting any jobs due to a lack of x-factors. My height is only 5' 3", I am quite thin and I look too young. I guess I am not very good looking. I also have a bit of a speech problem. Wherever I give interviews they refuse to take me because I don't have the necessary x-factors. My English is very good and I also have very strong computer skills. But my friends with bad results and fewer skills than me are getting good jobs. What should I do now?
Survival of the fittest

Dear Survival,
The first thing is to build your self confidence. You have to tell yourself that you are capable of getting a job. The ex factors that you mention are not serious at all. There are millions of short, thin successful people. The most important thing is to project yourself with confidence. I know this is frustrating but keep on trying and you will eventually succeed.


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