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     Volume 5 Issue 106 | August 4, 2006 |

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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am 21 years and a student of national university. I stay with my uncle's family as a private tutor. There's my aunt, cousin and the house help in the house. My uncle has asked me to stay with his family as he stays abroad and trusts me very much. My aunt is 23 years old and although I respect her very much she is very beautiful and sometimes I can't help but feel attracted towards her. I know this is wrong but I can't help feeling weak for her. I think she feels the same way towards me. I have told them many times that I want to leave the house but every time I say it they ask me why and I don't have an answer to give them. Please help me solve this problem.

Dear X,
If you are really sincere about not creating problems in your uncle's family then you should leave no matter what they say. You say your uncle trusts you and therefore any such relationship with your aunt will be a breach of trust, which is not very honourable. I would suggest you make some excuse and leave at an appropriate time.

Dear Mita
I am 14 years old and studying in class nine. In the last couple of years a lot of things have gone missing in our class and no one has yet been able to trace who steals these things. Recently, to my utter shock, I found out that it's none other than my best friend who's been doing these things. I found many of the items, including some of mine, inside a drawer in her room. I am at a complete loss about what to do. I think she has some psychological problem. She probably doesn't even know what she's doing. She's a very sweet and soft-spoken person and the last person who you'd think would do such a thing. I really don't know how to ask her about it and I can't tell any of my other friends either, because she's my best friend and I don't want others to judge her. Please tell me what I should do.

Dear Friend,
This girl is lucky to have a friend such as you. Yes, it is true that stealing sometimes is a kind of psychological state of mind and it is called Kleptomania. Either it is a disease or she is just doing it because she wants to have those things. In any case she needs help and you should tell her that you know. Once she finds out that you know, she might come out in the open. This is the only way to help her. If you don't do it now then it might be discovered in an ugly way and cause more trauma to her. If she does not talk to you then you must tell her family who care and love her. I know this will not be easy but sometimes we have to be cruel now in order to be kind later.

Dear Mita,
I am a 21-year-old girl and very introvert in nature. I used to generally avoid guys but I had a crush on one of my classmates who is very smart and handsome. So, when he asked me out I accepted his proposal. Our relationship started even before we knew each other too well. He is a good student but now my academic results are better than his. That's why he is very frustrated and blames me for it. I love him very much and I know that he loves me too. I really care about him but as I am an introvert I can't express it all the time. This makes him think that I only care about myself and my career and not for him. He refuses to take any help from me. I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose him. Please help me.

Dear Frustrated,
Your strategy will depend on how serious you are about him. He seems to have some insecurities which might turn into major problems in the long run. You should try to help him as much as you can but do not go overboard and blame yourself for all the problems such as his poor grades. He should also take responsibility for his actions. However, my advice is to think carefully if he is the right person for you.

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