Shop till you Drop
The Shopping Season!
A teenage girl at the perfume counter...
A teenage girl shopped at the mall and stopped at the perfume counter. She sees, “My Sin”, “Desire”, and “Ecstasy”. She says to the salesperson, “I don't want to get emotionally involved...I just want to smell nice.”
I was browsing in a souvenir shop when the man next to me struck up a conversation. Just as he was telling me that his wife was getting carried away with her shopping, a brief power shortage caused the lights to flicker overhead. "That," he sighed, "must be her checking out now."
In the frozen foods department of our local grocery store, I noticed a man shopping with his son. As I walked by, he checked something off his list, and I heard him whisper conspiratorially to the child, "You know, if we really mess this up, we'll never have to do it again."
A Diamond is forever
A man walks into a jewellery store to buy his girlfriend an engagement ring. Looking behind the glass case, he comes across an exquisite band with a handsome-sized rock in its centre.
“Excuse me sir,” the gentleman says to the salesman. “How much is this ring?”
“Ah, that's a beautiful piece,” the salesman replies. “It goes for $10,000.”
“My God!” the man exclaimed. “That's a lot of money!”
“Yes, but a diamond is forever.”
“Perhaps,” the gentleman replied, “but my marriage won't last that long!”
Shopping for a dress
A woman was shopping in a fairly nice dress store. Trying on a dress and liking it, she asked the salesman the price. When he told her, she launched into a tirade about prices these days, covering just about everything from housing to auto tires. After 10 minutes or so, the salesman had obviously had enough and said, “My dear lady. If the cost of living is so high and obviously so offensive to you, why do you bother?”
Even time has no meaning at all to a lot of women shoppers. My wife left one morning on one of her shopping expeditions announcing, "I'm going to do some shopping. I'll be back in about $350.00 or so."
Mom Buy her present
A mother and a daughter are shopping in the mall, when the mother eyes an expensive fur coat. "This year," she says, "I think that I will buy my present instead of making you and dad shop for me." The daughter nods in agreement. "And I think this fur coat would be perfect too."
The daughter protests, "But mom, some helpless, poor creature has to suffer so that you can have this."
"Don't worry honey," says the mother, "your father won't get the bill for a couple of weeks."
Don't Ignore the Kids
The 12-year-old boy stood patiently beside the clock counter while the store clerk waited on all of the adult customers first. Finally he got around to the youngster, who made his purchase and hurried out to the curb, where his father was impatiently waiting in his car.
"What took you so long, son?" he asked.
"The man waited on everybody in the store before me," the boy replied. "But I got even."
"I wound and set all the alarm clocks while I was waiting," the youngster explained happily. "It's going to be fun at eight o'clock.
Copyright (R) thedailystar.net 2006