Write to Mita
I'm a 24-year-old woman. I love wearing make-up. I actually wear lots of it. And I like to wear expensive clothes and don't like repeating them. After wearing a dress one or two days, I don't like wearing it anymore and want to buy new ones. Obviously all this is a waste of money, which my family does not appreciate, and they also think I don't look good with so much make-up on. But I can't help it. I love dressing up, even though I myself realise that I overdo it sometimes. What should I do?
You are 24 and should be able to dress up the way you want to. Unless it is totally outlandish which make others uncomfortable, I do not see any problem. However, if you know that you don't look good then perhaps you should visit a good beautician and take expert advise.
My 23-year-old son really worries me. He comes home late and hangs out with a shady crowd. I'm afraid they might be into drugs. But whenever I try talking to my son, he is very gruff and just avoids me. I hardly see him or get to talk to him anymore. He's always out or locked up in his room and takes no interest in family affairs, or anything else, for that matter. I'm a single mother already struggling to make ends meet. My son's situation is an additional and much bigger cause for stress for me. What can I possibly do to bring him back on track?
Worried Single Mom
Dear Single Mon,
It is indeed a cause to worry. You will have to somehow open communications channels with him. Try to engage him in different ways, insist on having at least a meal together where you may have conversations about friends, his future etc. Make him realise his responsibility without making him feel guilty.
This is a difficult age and there are many bad influence all around. Actually he will have to realise his mistakes himself and needs a good friend to advise him.
I have a cousin who I'm very fond of but I think she has a problem. She is constantly comparing herself to her best friend, thinking that she (the friend) is prettier, better off, wanting everything that her friend has. My cousin, who is 23, thinks everyone is out to get her, that everyone's criticising her. She always feels victimised, though I know this is not the case. I don't know whether she does this just to get attention, but it seems to be becoming a chronic problem, bad for her self-image, self-confidence and self-respect, not to mention her relationships with those close to her. How can my cousin be helped?
No one can help your cousin if she does not help herself. You will have to make her understand that she is on a self destructive course which will destroy her if she does not change her attitude. Your friendship is important and if she appreciates it she will listen to you. What about her immediate family? Ask them to talk to her. They are the most important people who can build up her self image and self confidence .
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