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     Volume 6 Issue 3 | January 26, 2007 |

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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,

I've been in a relationship for last five years and I've always been a lot more romantic and idealistic than materialistic. It hurts me when my boyfriend lies to me and keeps things away from me. Most of the times these lies are so petty that I can't even understand as to why he would lie to me in the first place. I really want to trust him completely because I love him way too much and I've sacrificed a lot for him. I also keep wondering what other lies he might have told me. Are all men like this? Or, is trust no big issue anymore in love? Should I go for counselling?


Dear Worried,

First, all men do not lie and trust is a very important part of love and a serious relationship. Some people are habitual liars and just do it for the heck of it. Perhaps this is harmless lying but certainly erodes your trust in him. You should talk to him about it. Tell him that this will make you lose respect and that he should confide in you if he is facing any problems. Approach this with sympathy rather than anger. If you love him so much then it is worth giving your time and attention.

Dear Mita,

I am in charge of a page at a daily newspaper and have been working here for the last seven years. There is a certain elderly colleague who I keep running into very often, who basically thinks that I am invisible. He doesn't acknowledge me and chooses to remain silent whenever I am around. I assume the reason may be because a couple of years ago, he had written a piece, which he wanted me to print on my page. However, the article was so badly written, I could not print it and explained to him politely. I even offered some suggestions as to how he could probably work on the write up to make it better and printable. That moment, he seemed to have fallen into some kind of a pit and would give me the silent treatment ever since. Its not like I want to socialise with him at work or speak to him either, but his attitude bugs me a lot! What can I do about this?

Dear Bugged,

Just stop getting bugged! That is exactly what he wants you to do and you are falling for it. Don't speak to him, give him the silent treatment instead. If he is so insecure that he cannot take constructive criticism then he is not worth spending any time over. Direct your socializing somewhere else, I am sure you have many friendly colleagues around.

Dear Mita,

I am a 19-year-old girl currently studying nowhere. Though my SSC and HSC results were extremely good, I couldn't compete in any of the admission tests held in the different institutions in Dhaka. I neither got into medicine nor IBA. My parents' expectation from me is so high that sometimes it's hard for them to believe that I actually lost an academic year. There is always a second chance but for me there is nothing left except private universities, which are very expensive. I feel really frustrated and have even thought of committing suicide. What should I do?

Dear Frustrated,

This is really too exaggerated and uncalled for. Please think of all the frustration and disappointments most people live with in our country. Losing an academic year is nothing given the wider context of you life. So what if you did not get into medicine or IBA, you can get into other departments such as commerce or science subjects. Letting yourself go in this way is certainly not the answer. Please get out of this self pity immediately and start doing something useful. You are not being grateful enough for all that you are blessed with.

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