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     Volume 6 Issue 9 | March 9, 2007 |

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The Net

You know you are an Internet Junkie when...

* When asked to write your address, your answer begins with http://

* Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends e-mail.

* You chat with your fingers, not your mouth.

* You use Netscape 4.72, and you check every week whether version 4.73 was released.

* You know the difference between Java and Javascript.

* Most of your friends have an @ in their names.

* In order to watch CNN you move to www.cnn.com

* On your business card the e-mail appears before the phone number.

* You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com

* You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.

* You can perfectly imitate the sound pattern of your modem connecting to your ISP.

* You can think of nineteen keystroke symbols that are far more clever than :-).

* You are told about a new programme, and you are disappointed to find that it is a TV programme.

* Not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your network address faster than your postal one.

Top 10 Signs that You've Overdosed on The World Wide Web

* Your opening line is: "So, what's your homepage address?"

* You see a beautiful sunset, and you half-expect to see "Enhanced for Netscape 4.0" on one of the clouds.

* You are overcome with disbelief, anger, and finally depressed acceptance when you encounter a Webpage with no links.

* You felt driven to consult the "Cool Page of the Day" on your wedding day.

* Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.

* You are driving on a dark and rainy night when you hydroplane on a puddle, sending your car careening towards the flimsy guardrail that separates you the precipice of a rocky cliff and certain death, and you desperately look for the "Back" button.

* You visit "The Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything" again and again and again.

* Your dog has his own webpage.

* So does your hamster.

* When you read a magazine, you have an irresistible urge to click on the underlined passages.

You Might Be an ISP if...

* You know 56 k means 'reliable 33.6' and 33.6 means 'reliable 28.8' and so forth.

* You know the win98 setup wizard by heart and can walk a user through it without even interrupting your Quake/MUD/IRC session to do so.

* You know where the email settings are in Internet Mail, Outlook Express, Pegasus, Eudora, Netscape Mail, Messenger Mailbox, and you don't use any of those programs for personal use.

* You maintain more than four websites and do not have time for a personal web page.

* You know what TCP/IP stands for, not to mention DNS, HTTP, SNMP, BGP, OSPF, and DUN. You like acronyms.

* You know more ip addresses than phone numbers. Sometimes you just find it easier to type the dotted quad.

* You know more phone numbers to modem banks than you know phone numbers to people.

* You can name two web browsers other than Netscape or Microsoft's.

* You loathe the dancing baby and other large file attachments sent through email to unsuspecting users who can't pick them up off the server and then have to call and whine that their email doesn't work anymore.

* You despise Microsoft FrontPage as a web-editing tool and as extensions to your webserver.

* You can answer the question 'is the internet broken' without laughing.

Source: workjoke.com




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