Write to Mita
I am a 15-year-old girl studying at an English medium school. I come from a middle-class family. I have friends but they are kids of very wealthy families. My friends are always talking about new gadgets in the market and about their trips abroad, not because they are showing off, this is a normal part of their lives. I feel very uncomfortable when they talk about these things, as I don't have anything to contribute in the conversation. Lately this feeling of being a misfit is growing more and more intense and I end up just not saying anything or making an excuse to leave. I think my friends are misunderstanding me but I really don't know what to do. Please help.
Your feeling of being left out is natural. It is often difficult to keep up with conversations or way of life that have no resemblance to yours. However, your friends should be more sensitive and make an effort to bring you in. I am sure you have many interesting things to contribute which are unique. First of all, please do not let this bother you too much. You must have a talk with at least one of these friends and tell her that their attitude is driving you away. Most probably they are not aware that you are hurt with their behaviour. A more drastic step would be to change school and study in an environment that is more suitable to your way of life.
I am a 24-year-old man, studying BBA at a private university. This is what my parents want me to do. But what I want to do is be a musician. I play drums and bass guitar and am a member of a band. We have practice every Friday and Saturday and my parents just don't like the fact that I spend so much time playing music. To be honest, business studies does not interest me at all and I find it really hard to concentrate. All I think of is my music, new songs to play, lyrics to write etc. I can't even listen to music at home without my mother asking me to stop it and start studying. They just don't understand me at all. How should I deal with this situation?
Dear Music Lover,
Parents want their children to be successful, get a good job after they compete their studies and settle down. Your parents do not see their wish coming true with your inclination towards music. I do not blame them as this is a very competitive field and success is rare. It is for you to judge as to what is the possibility to make this into a career. If you are convinced then you can only convince your parents. Meanwhile you must not neglect your studies. If BBA is not what you want to study then choose something that interests you more.
I really want to know why people who say they are your best friend betray you in the worst possible way. I am a 16-year-old girl. I used to like this boy at school and my friend was very much aware of it. Nobody was supposed to know about this except the two of us (me and my friend) but then one of my classmates with whom I am not friends with made a very rude remark about me and the boy in question. He was very embarrassed and then he actually confronted me and told me not to spread rumours about him! I tried to reason with him but then he said that my friend had told him I liked him. I was so humiliated because I'm sure he doesn't like me. I asked my friend and she denies it but somehow I think she did tell him. I feel so down, so betrayed. Should I talk to my friend after this? Right now we are not on speaking terms.
You are justified in getting angry at your friend and feeling betrayed. She should not have behaved in this way at all and was wrong. However, I do not think that it warrants your never speaking to her again. After all friendship is a precious thing and should not be thrown out just because of a single quarrel.. She might have told him something and he misunderstood, or someone else told him and he is blaming her for unknown reasons. Actually in such situations there may be a host of reasons which often remain unknown. For now I think you should make it up with your friend. This boy is not interested in you and therefore not worth losing a friend for.
(R) thedailystar.net 2009