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     Volume 8 Issue 76 | July 3, 2009 |

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Write to Mita

Dear Mita
I am a BBA second year student of Dhaka University. When I was a first year student one of the girls of another department in the third year said she was in love with me and wanted me to go steady with her. I informed her of the difference in age and she said: "no problem; age is not important for authentic love."
I became convinced and have returned her affections. After one year she is now a fourth year student and her parents are pressurizing her to get married. She has asked me to marry her but it's not possible for me. Please tell me what should I do for her.

Dear Nasir,
You are certainly too young to get married and must explain this to your girlfriend. Marriage is a very serious matter and this decision must not be taken in haste. However, if both of you are committed to the relationship then she will wait for you. But of you must complete your education and think about a career and then think about marriage.

Dear Mita,
My younger brother studies in class 3 and is a very good student. But teachers are very displeased with his behaviour. They complain that he is always fighting and beating other children at school. They also complain that he is disobedient and unsocial. However, he is not as bad at home as the teachers say. Please tell me how can I help my brother out. The matter is getting worse day by day.
Worried Sibling

Dear Sibling,
There must be something that is bothering him in school and you must get to the bottom of this. Talk to him and find out about his friends, teachers and others. Discuss with him what he does all day, who he likes or does not, his favourite subjects etc. In other words, you must become his friend so that he confides in you, meanwhile gently explain to him the negative sides of being rude, disobedient or unsocial. I really thing this is a temporary problem and he is going through a phase. He will certainly get over it with your help.

Dear Mita,
I am 23 year old man and a 4th year student of Dhaka University. I am in love with an 18 year old girl. We dote on each other. But she is too emotional. She found out about a previous relationship I had with someone else, which is completely over but she decided to break up with me. I said I was sorry and finally she took me back. But the problem is that she quarrels with me every day for simple issues now. Sometimes it seems that I should leave her. But I can't forget her. What should I do?

Dear Skyline,
It seems that she is immature and not ready for a serious relationship. Suspicion, regular quarrel etc. are recipe for disaster and never results in anything positive. You should rethink your relationship with her and seriously analyse whether she is the right person for you. It might be painful to break off now but will be better in the long run. But before that have a long hard talk with her. Perhaps she will try to change and gradually you may build up a better understanding.

Dear Mita,
I wish to share my thoughts with you on campus politics that has become a common practice these days. I got admitted to a public university and one of my friends admitted to Khulna University. At the beginning of the semester I noticed that classes and exams were not going on according to schedule due to political violence. A few days ago my friend came to Dhaka. We discussed this issue and I got to know that now he is two semesters ahead of me which means I have lost a whole year. This means my entire batch has lost a year. Ultimately, it is obvious to all that due to reckless politics in campus we students are losing our golden years. I am really worried. What should I do?

Dear Talha,
I am really sorry but I cannot provide much assistance in this regard. Campus politics has become a sad realty in our society for many years now. There was a time that campus politics was seen as a positive thing in terms of raising political awareness of students. Due to a number of factors this has degenerated into violence and students excuse not to study. As for you, do the best you can, even if your studies get delayed, give it your best and try to excel in anything and everything you do.

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