Write to Mita
You have probably heard of Stephanie Meyer's best-selling novel Twilight, which has now been adapted into a movie. I am completely obsessed with the character Edward Cullen. Usually when I have a crush on a guy, I get over it within a couple of days. But I am completely into this character and it's driving me crazy. The worst part is - he doesn't even exist! I am starting to wish that all guys were like him (except for the vampire bit.) I know I won't find anyone like him. I know this is wrong but I am completely distracted. I can't concentrate on anything. What do I do?
Being an intelligent person, you know very well that this is a phase and will soon pass. We have all been attracted to make belief characters at some point of our lives. Believe me, this does not last, gradually it fades away as a distant memory and gives us something to smile about in the later years of our lives. Don't worry about it and don't call yourself obsessed because you are not. Think about other things, your studies, hobbies, family etc. Go out and do something special for someone you love, this might be you parents, siblings or friend. Think about all the blessings you have and therefore you don't have to live in a make belief world.
I am 27-years-old and after completing my MBA from a private university, I joined a multinational company. I am doing well and earning enough. But I am a musician by heart and try to grasp every opportunity to practice and perform. For the last few months, I have been thinking about leaving my job and dedicating myself completely to developing myself as a musician. But I am worried as to how I will support my self financially, since in this country, music does not pay, at least not until one is well known in the field. What should I do?
This is a very tough one. It is true that music does not pay and unless your are very famous it is difficult to support yourself solely on it. However, if everyone followed this then we would not have such great musicians in this world who have sacrificed so much for our pleasure. This is creative art and you will have to depend on your instinct to decide. Leaving your job at this point might not be such a wise decision. You might think of earning and saving enough to last you for a while to pursue your dream and then decide whether you want to take it up as a profession. One the other hand it can be a wonderful and serious hobby which will give joy but will not take you away from your other profession.
I have finished my Bachelors and am waiting to start my master's programme in a well-known public university. I have been involved with one of my classmates for the last 4 years. But some times it seems really difficult for me to continue. I sometimes wonder what she actually wants from me. She says her love is true, but her activities are quite unusual as she is always repeating the same mistakes over and over again, things that I don't like. When I tried to ask her to change, she claimed that I was like the rest of the boys who try to control their wives' lives. It hurts me very much because I always help her to make a better decision. It gets so complicated when she begins to criticise me. I tried to figure out why this is happening, tried to talk to her as well, but it hasn't solved much. I don't want this to continue after we get married. How can I solve this?
You need to express your concerns in more explicit ways. Make her understand that this is not a criticism but rather a way to understand each other better so that you will be able to avoid conflict in your life together. A more fundamental question is if she is the right person for you, the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. I think you need to have a frank talk about this with her. Perhaps something is bothering her and she is not telling you. It is true that you have been in a relationship for 4 years and both of you are serious but you might not be right for each other. Think about it, if this does not work it is much better to break it off now then to be unhappy afterwards.
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