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    Volume 8 Issue 97 | December 11, 2009 |

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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I'm a 26-year-old woman. I got married last year and have been working since before my marriage. My husband did not have a problem with my job, but now we live with his parents and they don't like the idea of me working and he does not defend me either. I don't want to quit my job. Not only do I not want to be home the rest of my life, but I'm worried about other compromises I may be asked to make along the way. I don't know what to do. My husband is currently unemployed and from what I make, moving out is not an option, neither am I sure that he would want to. How do I handle this situation without hurting my marriage?
Barir Bou

Dear Barir Bou,
You should have a very frank talk with your husband and insist that this was not the understanding you had before marriage. Your husband and family must be very wealthy to be able to afford both of you to be unemployed. If that is not the case he should realise that you are making a contribution to the family income. I fully agree that if you make this compromise now, you might have to keep on doing this. Please tell your husband that not pursuing a career will put a great strain on your marriage and he should convince his parents. You should absolutely not compromise on this.

Dear Mita,
I'm an 18-year-old girl currently doing my A' Levels. I have been friends with a guy over a year. He has been really good, like no one before. He trusts me and according to him my best quality is that I'm a very honest girl. My results were really bad this May and I have no chances to retake it. I lied to him about my results because I thought he'll break off our friendship if he comes to know the truth. Now my conscience pricks me 24/7 and I keep thinking, what if he comes to know the truth and stops being my friend? I don't want to lose him at any cost. I feel as if I have deceived him. My exams are approaching and I can't concentrate due to my misconduct. What should I do?
In Confusion

Dear Confused,
I believe you should tell him right away and come out clean. Friendship is based on mutual trust and respect. If he is a true friend he will understand why you lied to him and will forgive you. However, if he hears the truth from someone else then it will be very difficult for him to overcome it. The old saying “honesty is the best policy” is valid even today.

Dear Mita,
I'm a 16-year-old boy. I have a 10-year-old brother. I'm about to give my O' Levels but I can barely concentrate. My parents are always fighting. They have been like this for the past two or three years and it's getting worse every day. I don't like talking about it with people because it's our family matter, but I also want it to stop. Our home environment is not very healthy, especially for my brother at such a tender age. Is there anything I can do to make my parents stop fighting?
From the Battlefield

Dear Embattled,
It is sad that you have to face such a difficult situation at this age and it is even worse for you kid brother. You might want to talk to a relative who you parents respects and trusts such as an uncle or aunt. They must be told that their fighting is having a negative impact on the lives of their children. I believe they will be sensitive to this if approached in the right way. Your not wanting to tell anyone is understandable, however, the problem needs to be addressed before it becomes out of control.

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