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    Volume 9 Issue 24| June 11, 2010|

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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I have a very frustrating problem. I can't sleep at night. I have tried everything from counting sheep to sleeping pills but nothing works. When I try to sleep I think of a million different things, not all of them pleasant and end up being agitated and upset. Please help me find a solution to my problem.

Dear Awake,
Some people find it harder to go to sleep than others. For some, all the problems of the day comes to mind at a time when one should sleep. This is not very unnatural. However, if you cannot sleep all night or most of the night on a regular basis then you should get professional help. There is something called “sleep disorder syndrome”, you should see a doctor and find out if such is the case. Otherwise you could try doing yoga or other hard physical exercise and get very tired, don't sleep in the afternoon, relax before going to bed, hopefully this will work.

Dear Mita,
I have recently realised I'm never happy if I don't get attention from the opposite sex. I always need someone liking me or admiring me, to be happy. When there is no one in the horizon I am distracted and irritated and this affects my relationship with my family and friends. It really bothers me that I have become this way. Please tell me how I can change myself.
Attention Freak

Dear Attention Freak,
Don't be too harsh on yourself. All of us want some attention at one time or the other. Perhaps you should do something that will take attention away from yourself to something worthwhile. For example, help someone, get involved in solving problems of other people etc. I don't think this is a serious problem and will go with age.

Dear Mita,
I am a 39-year-old married service holder. At my previous work place one of my colleagues expressed that she liked me very much and she wanted to be friends. I agreed and we became very close. Our family members met in the process and they too have become very good friends. After some time however, I found out that her marriage was an unhappy one. She and her husband did not get along and she started making advances toward me. At one point she asked me to have a baby with her. She insisted that she loves me and she wants something that will be ours alone. I refused but she is very persistent. Please tell me how I should handle this situation.

Dear Frustrated,
If you are happily married and have a family of your own then you should be very firm and have nothing to do with this lady no matter how persistent she is. This will lead to disaster and nothing else. You should ignore her advances and if it becomes obnoxious then you should have a serious talk with her telling her you are not interested. It is very important that you do not give her any chance to say that you led her on. These things have serious implications and should be nipped in the bud.

Dear Mita,
A colleague of mine has recently started flirting with me. Initially I was polite but I'm finding it harder everyday to deal with him. He seems like a nice person, but I have no romantic interest in him whatsoever. I also don't want things to be uncomfortable at work if I confront him. Telling the boss was an option but it seems a little silly to complain, after all I am an adult and should be able to handle something like this. Please help.

Dear Worried,
If you are an adult then handle it like one. If at any time his flirtation crosses a line you should convey your annoyance strongly. Don't give him the impression that you might be liking it. Often women are hesitant to confront such unwelcome behaviour because of the reason that you state. Please don't let a feeling of discomfort to stop you from doing what you feel is right. If you don't want his advances just make it clear. There is no two way about it.

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