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     Volume 9 Issue 36| Spetember 03, 2010 |


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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am constantly upset with my boyfriend for not giving me enough attention. I hate it when he spends time with his friends, or when he is on the phone with other people when I am calling. I have become very insecure and almost always feel bad about the fights after. I know he's doing the best he can, but I become a monster when I'm upset. My friends tell me he won't stay with me for long if I continue to be this way. Please tell me how I can stop.

Dear Insecure,
Your friends are right, your boy friend will leave you if you go about it in this way. The good thing is that you have realised that your present behaviour will lead to a breakdown of the relationship. Please analyse the reasons for your feeling insecure. You will find most of them are not well-founded. Also think how you would react if he behaved with you in the same manner. Just because he loves you it does not give you license to bully him. The small fights now will become bigger ones someday and you will reach a point of no return. So please mend your ways if you are looking for a long-term relationship.

Dear Mita,
My family is not very financially stable but my father got me admitted into a very
expensive school. We only think of education but most of my friends are very wealthy and don't think much about education. They like clubs, parties, hot guys, etc. I am not like that. I am just a simple girl who thinks only about her family, studies and religion. Since grade 4, my friends started calling me boring, nerd and geek. I tried being like them. I even got grades like them as I studied very little. I joined Facebook. I failed in many class tests as I was always thinking of how to be interesting. I did everything
possible. I neglected my studies, logged onto Facebook all the time, tried to be stylish but nothing has changed. I talked to my parents about this and I really don't want to talk to my friends about it. Please help me out.

Dear Sufferer,
Please get out of this self-defeating attitude. You have no reason to feel inferior. Just be yourself, if most friends don't like you that way they will leave. However, I am sure some will stay and be your real friends. Why do you need so many friends anyway? Do the things that really matter such as your studies, spending time with family, reading, listening to music, etc. Get back to your studies and get good grades. You have to do something so that people respect you. Following your friends irrationally will do nothing to enhance your image.

Dear Mita,
I am a junior in a college in Canada. Lately, every time I come home for my summer holidays, I don't feel like going back to college. I miss my family terribly, and all my friends and just living in Dhaka. I love living here. Every summer when it is time to go back to college, I cry my eyes out and beg my parents not to send me. I hate doing this because they look so helpless when they try to explain to me how important my education is. It's not like I don't understand this. I do, but I can't stop myself from doing it all the same. Once I get to college I am miserable for at least a month. My parents are spending a lot of money to get me a decent education and I don't want to disappoint them. Please tell me how I can stop being so selfish.

Dear Selfish,
First, I don't think you are being selfish at all. You are just a very homesick person that's all. This is not a totally negative thing. There are so many kids your age who don't want to even come home during their summer holidays. However, having said that, you have to draw a line between being homesick and becoming devastated at leaving home. This is a part of growing up for which your parents are preparing you. Please count your blessings, many young people your age would give anything to get the chance to go and study abroad. Therefore, get a hold of yourself. Put this in the right perspective and act in a mature manner. Make new friends in Canada, keep regular contact with home and have a good time, make the most of your chance.


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