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     Volume 9 Issue 37| Spetember 17, 2010 |


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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I have been facing some financial trouble for a while. I study in a university in the US and I have not been managing my money well. Last semester, I used up all the cash my parents gave me and have no money left to pay for the next semester. I have been borrowing money from my friends and have taken out two loans from my bank. I don't know how I will repay all that money. I don't want my parents to find out what I have done. I am very ashamed of myself. Please help me find a solution.
In Trouble

Dear In Trouble,
It is very difficult to find a solution for a mistake that you have made knowingly. You have been irresponsible towards your parents and yourself also. The only thing I can advise is for you to find a part time job and repay the loan. This might be very difficult but I don't see any other alternative. This might teach you a lesson to cut your coat according to your cloth next time.

Dear Mita,
I have been helping a friend in trouble and find myself unwillingly involved in her affairs. She has been cheating on her husband and I am ashamed to admit I helped her make excuses and also helped her meet him sometimes. I did this because she told me her husband was an abusive man who made her miserable. Lately I've discovered that this is not true and she just wanted me to sympathise with her and offer her my help. I have a problem saying 'no' to people in general so please tell me how I can get myself out of this mess.

Dear Upset,
Common wisdom is think twice before getting involved in any marital problems. More often than not this leads to trouble and misunderstanding. Another advice is not to take action based on the narration of one person. Please remember every story has two angles and one needs two hands to clap. Coming back to your problem, you should dissociate from your friend and let her know that you cannot be a party to this any longer. This is her life, she is an adult and must deal with it herself. Be honest to your self and practice saying ‘no’ when there is a question of your honesty and integrity.

Dear Mita,
I am a 16-year-old boy in love with my teacher. She is beautiful, intelligent and kind and I go to school just to see her every day. Next year, I will be in the tenth grade and she will no longer teach my class. This is breaking my heart. Her classes are the only ones I look forward to and I don't think I can make it through an entire day without seeing her. Even now, I make silly excuses to go to the teachers' lounge just to say 'hi' to her and have her smile at me. I am thinking of taking her subject for my O'Levels even though I am not very good at it. Please tell me how to get over her. I can't concentrate on anything because of her.

Dear Crushed,
This is as you know very well an infatuation, which will gradually pass. Don't worry too much about it, take it easy, make new friends and distract yourself with other activities. It is not a good idea to take a subject that you are not interested in, whatever might be the reason, because you will regret it later. There is no formula to get over an infatuation. It will only happen if you want it and for this you need to show maturity and responsibility.


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