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     Volume 9 Issue 38| October 01, 2010 |


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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am a 20-year-old girl living in old town. I have always been a restless and anxious person as long as I can remember. Of late, I feel as though I am never alone. I feel like someone is watching me all the time. I feel very vulnerable and unsafe and I dream about this person at night, although I can never see a face in my dreams and they are never vivid. At times, I feel like I am choking in my sleep, but although I can open my eyes, I cannot move my body. It feels as though I am paralysed for a few minutes. I told my grandmother about this and she thinks a jinn has possessed me. I am very scared. I don't want people to think I'm crazy. What do you think my problem is?

Dear Unsafe,
You are scared for some reasons but this is not the effect of Jinn possession as your grandmother says. Often a certain incident creates a lasting impact and if not addressed on time remains somewhere in the thought process and keeps on bothering us. You must remember this is psychological, no matter how real it seems. There is no one around you and you are safe, please tell this to yourself repeatedly. I suggest that you see a psychologist or psychiatrist to discuss your problem. Do not be scared and you are not crazy at all. Many people go through similar kind of situation; it is therefore not so unusual.

Dear Mita,
I'm a student of a governmental school (RANI BILASHMONI GOVERNMENT BOYS' HIGH SCHOOL, in Gazipur). I am interested in writing and I have been writing poetry in English and Bengali. Recently, I sent one of my writings to your magazine. It was a fiction piece for teenagers, but it was rejected. I found it very disheartening and discouraging. Is there a page for us teenagers I can write for? How do I find something like that?
Omayeek S

Dear Omayeek,
I am sorry this magazine rejected your poem. However, the best way to ensure that you get printed is to continue writing. The more you write, the more it will improve and someday you will get recognition. I am sorry I do not know if any magazine that will take your writing but you may approach other newspapers with special magazines for young people.

Dear Mita,
I am a 34-year-old woman, with an ugly scar on my neck. I got it in an accident when I was 15, and it has been a source of embarrassment and humiliation for me ever since. Friends at school made cruel jokes about it, my parents worried constantly about my looks and finding me a suitable husband, remark from strangers have all played a role in contributing to my now non-existent self-esteem. I became shy and introverted and have never had a relationship with anyone. I considered plastic surgery but we can't afford it. I worry I will always be unsocial and lonely and unconfident. Please help me overcome these feelings and come out of my shell.

Dear Scarred,
I have total sympathy for your situation. It is true that the world is a very cruel place for people with any kind of physical difference. Having said that, you must know that there are many people in the world who have survived and overcome even greater adversaries. The scar is an obstacle towards your fulfillment as a complete person, but there is no reason why your personality should be completely dominated by it. Do something, which you are good at. It could be a hobby, professional work, academic pursuit etc. You may also consider plastic surgery even if you cannot afford it, try to take loan or discuss with doctors, different options of payment. Remember, only you can help yourself to get out of this state of mind. You will have to love and respect yourself before you expect others to do so.

Dear Mita,
I am a 22-year-old boy in love with my neighbour. She knows how I feel about her but has a long-term boyfriend and considers me a friend. I had no problems with this and was happy that she was happy. Recently though, I found out that her boyfriend is cheating on her. That he has always been cheating on her and she doesn't have a clue. I am faced with a dilemma. I know I have to tell her but she may not believe me and think I am trying to get rid of him. How do you think I can tell her and have her believe me? I am genuinely worried about her because I heard they are planning to get engaged soon and she should know about him before making any major decisions.
A friend

Dear Friend,
Please be very sure of your facts before you take any step. If she considers you a friend then you should remain a friend, which is to have her best interest at heart. Find a way to inform her, but don't do it directly as this might create misunderstanding as you have correctly pointed out. On the other hand, I am sure she has other friends who are her well-wishers who might also tell her. Please remember that a person cheating cannot carry this out for too long. He will get caught ultimately but I do agree that she should not commit to him if he is so insincere.

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