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     Volume 9 Issue 39| October 08, 2010 |


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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am a woman in my 30s, unmarried, and currently working for a reputed organisation. Since my graduation, I have worked at different fields with no particular direction in life. I have a very caring family, lots of friends and besides work I pursue hobbies like singing, traveling, painting and voluntarism. Yet all these things I do and I have, appear meaningless from time to time, especially when I go through bad phases of a relationship. My fun-loving independent personality totally turns opposite and I become depressed and moody, often shutting myself out from the rest of the world. I also have record of attempting suicide twice and I often suffer from the fear that I might actually one day just succeed in the act. This happens especially when I see and learn about high achievers ending their lives. Judging the situation please tell me whether I need to go for any professional help.

Dear Afraid,
The first thing you need to do is to tell yourself that you are not afraid. Just think about all the blessings in your life. Then sit back and think about those who have nothing of everything that you take for granted such as a loving and caring family, a good education and a career. Most people in our society would give up anything in exchange for what you have. Perhaps your frustration and depression is related to the absence of a meaningful and long-term partner in your life. There is no reason to be depressed because somewhere there is someone waiting for you and you will surely find him soon. Just forget the thought of taking your own life, this will be the most ungrateful act possible. There is no harm in seeking professional help, in fact this is a very good idea.

Dear Mita,
I am in love with a boy who is seeing someone else. We started off as friends but my feelings have evolved into something else. I don't think I can continue being friends with him while I feel this way about him and I definitely don't think I should tell him how I feel. That would be too embarrassing. He has been a very good friend to me and I feel horrible ending our friendship. I know it will hurt and confuse him because I won't be telling him the truth about why we can no longer be friends. He always knows when I'm lying. Please tell me if I'm making the right decision and if so, how to go about telling him what I want to do.
A friend

Dear Friend,
You need to phase out of the friendship and not end it abruptly. There is no need to hurt or confuse him but just give him the message that you both have to move on with your lives and it is time for disengaging gradually. If he is seeing someone else and is serious about her then he will not take it too badly I can bet you. There is also no need to breaking off all relations also. However, you will see as you both go on with your separate lives, interaction between you will automatically subside and you will go about your separate ways.

Dear Mita,
I am stuck in a rut and I need to get out of it. My parents have paid a lot of money to send me abroad for college and I studied a subject I loved. I worked in my chosen field for a while but after I lost my job, I haven't done anything for a whole year to advance my career. My parents want me to go to graduate school, but I have been lazy. I don't know what's wrong with me. I no longer feel motivated to do anything with my life. I am unhappy and frustrated and I really need to do something about this before I go crazy. Please help me.

Dear Aimless,
There is nothing wrong; you are just acting like a very spoilt person of rich parents. You would never do this if you had to earn a living, if your entire family were dependent on you or if you were the sole bread winner. But somewhere down the line you will regret this time that you are wasting. So please get your act together, come out of the rut and act like a responsible person.

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