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     Volume 9 Issue 42| October 29, 2010 |

 Cover Story
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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am a 22-year-old guy and I have just graduated from college. For the past few years, I have been dating my neighbour, who is two years older than me. Our parents do not get along very well and I know that when they find out about us, they will oppose the match. I am determined to marry her however, but her parents have already started looking for a groom for her and I am nowhere near established. I am still looking for a job. Please advice me as to how I can talk to her parents and convince both her parents and mine to allow us to marry after I am settled.

Dear Troubled,
If both of you are serious and determined then no one can separate you, nor your parents neither hers. The important thing is to remain focused, complete your education and plan your career. Your neighbour should also do the same. This way you can support each other if necessary. Meanwhile, first convince your parents to go and talk to her parents. Even if they look for a groom for her, she cannot be married off by force, it is against the law.

Dear Mita,
I am a 28 year old woman. I am not very attractive and have never been in a relationship. This never bothered me before. All my friends always had boyfriends but I never envied them. However, lately, I have begun to feel very lonely. Most of my friends are now married or engaged to be married and I worry that once they are busy with their own families, I will be all alone and depressed. My parents are trying to find me a husband but so far everyone who has seen me has rejected me because of my looks. Please tell me what I can do to stop this from getting me down.

Dear Alone,
There is something attractive about every person. All you have to do is find it. It might be looks or personality. However, you should make an effort to look physically attractive. I suggest you seek appointment with a good beautician. She/he can advise you about skin care, clothes, grooming etc. Nowadays-small physical defects can be fixed by plastic surgery. You will be amazed what difference good grooming, the right clothes, suitable make up and most importantly a confident personality can make. Most importantly don't let this get you down. Fight it and tell yourself you can do it.

Dear Mita:
I am a 52-year-old widow with no children and no near relatives to look after me if I get bed-ridden. I also do not have the financial capabilities to afford the expensive medical treatments of our country. Besides, I do not want to be a burden on strangers. Under the circumstances, if I get bed-ridden is there any way I can legally give someone a doctor/ nurse/ pharmacist the right, against financial incentive, to assist me in ending my life decently and painlessly?
Old and Worried

Dear Old and Worried,
I am sorry, but I know of no one who will be willing to carry out your wishes with all the incentives in the world. First, you are not old at all. In this day and age 52 is nothing. People live healthy and fruitful lives till at least 75. There are many people who are in the same predicament but are not planning to end their lives. On the other hand, they are planning how to be useful to others. If you believe in God then also believe that God has made us all for a certain purpose. Give off yourself generously, you will get many rewards plus you will find someone who will take care of you. What you are suggesting is self defeating and pessimistic. Life is a gift, try to make the best of it, no matter what the circumstances might be



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