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         Volume 10 |Issue 20 | May 27, 2011 |


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Flirting with two lovers


The Americans did want to share the credit of their widely discredited latest mission with their obliging hosts. According to one website the supposedly most powerful president in the world called up his opposite number (actually they are hand in glove in this) and was more than generous. He offered: 'Respected counterpart, I am going to make THE announcement to the world just now. But before that I want to know if you would want to take credit for this. From the foothills of K2 came the reply from a man empowered by the death of his wife: 'No, no. No credit. I take only cash.'

Cruel joke perhaps, you could say, but wait till you hear rest going around the web about a force that many believe were again hand in glove with the May 1 victims. How many gloves do they have? Hiding for half a decade three hundred yards from an army training school? Critics say it was more of 'kept hidden' than hiding.

Unknown bloggers (I assume angry patriotic Pakistanis) have posted the following, all after Obama got Osama:

'Don't honk: the army is asleep.'

'Public service message from the army: stay alert. Don't rely on us.'

'Radar system for sale: buy one, get one free.'

'How do you stop a Pakistani tank? Shoot the men who are pushing it.'

'How do you disable a Pakistani tank? Hide the wind-up key.'

'How do you disable Pakistani missiles? Cut the rubber band.'

'Our healthy diet includes sleeping pills.'

'Attention Pakistan enemies: Our normal business hours are 9am to 5pm Monday to Friday. Please attack us only during these times.'

There are more and this one is a gem:

A Pakistani army soldier walks into his officer's room. To impress him, the army officer picks the phone, dials a number, and says 'Yes sir, I understand sir. I will tell the Prime Minister when we meet later in the day. Goodbye.' Looking at the soldier standing in front of him the officer yelled in irritation, 'What do you want?' The soldier was impassive and replied 'Nothing sir. I just came to install your telephone.'

I believe the same would be said about any army, including that of the USA, if its intelligence failed to shore up its national security. While fully in sympathy with the victims of 9/11, the gags are an affront to vent anger at the loss of human lives and families that will never be the same.

Since Osama was declared as killed in a foreign country by even more foreign military personnel, the two long-times allies are at war of words, what with the Americans carrying out one-sided drone attacks killing also innocent Pakistani citizens if the US claim of successfully hunting down dangerous militants is taken at face value. Here a mere 'sorry' cannot suffice; nothing in fact can replace a life lost, whether killed under Osama's plan or by counter tactics.

A couple (American husband and Pakistani wife) drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion on stealth helicopters, sovereignty, and burial at sea had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'

'Yep', the wife replied, 'in-laws'

A New York reporter was over the moon when she met one of the Abottabad attackers. Out of breath she blurted: 'You were fantastic, your name shall be written in gold in the annals of history'. Catching her breath she asked, 'You really knew your way around the town. What's your secret?'

Replied the hero: 'The houses are numbered.'

Some influential civil, military, and political individuals in Pakistan, in groups or otherwise, must have known about Osama's hideout, if he was alive after his reported 2001 illness and 'death' as claimed by some even important US officials. It is simply not possible to eat, sleep and marry in the sub-continent without the whole sub-continent knowing. Some must have known about the recent killing mission. One 'some' may not have known what another 'some' knew. It would be quite bizarre and put a serious question mark on the national institutions of Pakistan if the same 'some' had information of both the hiding and the subsequent attack. We will have to wait for the truth. The problem is we may have to wait and wait... Not all truths do come out, nor all that comes out are true. That is how politicians have shaped the world so far, locally and globally. And we stay glued to TV sets to hear what they churn out as 'fact'.

The common citizens of the world, more than wanting to know the truth, seek only tranquillity and an end to all conflicts. There is so much to conquer and enjoy in life than someone else or someone else's territory and property.


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