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City in Uproar

Anika Hossain

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Over five hundred citizens of D-town brought out a protest rally yesterday in response to the series of ongoing crimes that have been terrorising the city.

Witnesses continue to report sightings of the perpetrator who has single handedly stolen half the citizen's bodna (water jug used to clean oneself after using the toilet) and balti (water bucket) from the security of their own homes.

“The robber's strategy is unique,” says officer Rezaul Haq, member of D town's CID (Crime Ignoring Division) who is in charge of this case. “He spends days cutting the grills of each house's bathroom window, bit by bit, which shows he has great patience. When he enters, he does not leave with the bodna and balti immediately. He waits for someone in the house to wake up and come to the toilet. He then screams loudly, runs around the bathroom and exits through the front door.”

Mohfizul Alam, whose house was robbed a week ago says, “I followed him out the front door and scared him enough to drop the bodna. I kept it safe and gave it to the CID. I did get a good look at him in the process, he is about 4' 10” tall, chubby, probably in his 40's. The CID took down all the details.”

Despite eye witness accounts of various sightings, DNA evidence and fingerprints found on Alam's recovered bodna, the CID have made no progress in locating and capturing the perpetrator who is now known as the Bodna Bandit.

Anwarul Hossain, who spotted the perpetrator at a tea stall near the Adda area of D-town says that the CID arrived exactly 6 days after he reported the sighting and by this time, the Bodna Bandit drank 20 cups of tea, slept outside the tea stall and casually walked away one morning dragging a bag full of bodnas with him. “The officers who finally arrived kept asking me if they should have tea too. I really didn't understand why they needed my permission,” says Hossain, visibly irritated after his six day vigil.

According to an unnamed source within the police force, the evidence collected from the Bodna Bandit case has been stored on the floors all over the forensics department. “We do have official storage space,” he explains, “But you see the box we have been given to store evidence has been full since the day they gave it to us. We used shoe boxes for a while but the rats chew them up so we gave up on that. We just pile them up on the floor now… easier access and they get some air.”

The bodna rescued by Alam was accidentally used by the Fingerprint Expert of the forensics team who thought it was a birthday gift from his superiors, as he too was robbed not very long ago. For this reason, the DNA tests have been delayed and the fingerprints washed away. Despite the setbacks, the CID is confident they will catch the Bodna Bandit very soon. “We are positive he will leave another stolen item soon. We can get the fingerprints then,” says Rezaul Haq, “We suspect he is a wealthy and powerful individual. How else is he hiding all the stolen items and disappearing?”

The situation, however, took a dramatic turn when the Bodna Bandit struck again on Monday night, this time at the house of the honorable Minister of Broken Communication Babul Hasan, Patriot of Bongoland. Hasan was reported to be emotionally scarred by the incident, causing the authorities to leap into action.

Gobi Khatun, in charge of the Ministry of Safety and Security, ordered the capture of the Bodna Bandit “in 48 hours or, in a year or more.” She also assigned her personal elite force, the Raid and Butcher Battalion (RABB) to the case with instructions to capture the Bandit and retrieve the stolen property.

The RABB has thus far raided every home, slum and public toilet in the city captured 100 individuals, 2 of whom match the description of the Bandit. These individuals are being held for questioning at an unknown location, allegedly kept secret in order to protect them from an angry mob comprised of the Bandit's victims. While these individuals are kept under strict observation, the Bandit continues to rob three toilets a day and has now branched out to super markets where large sized baltis are being sold.

The RABB has set up check posts at every street corner and is patrolling the entire city every night. They have also invaded many citizens' homes at random demanding to see licenses and registration papers for their baltis and bodnas, adding to everyone's confusion and fear.

Gobi Khatun said at a press conference yesterday, “I assure you that even though he is now stealing in broad daylight, it won't be long before we capture him and bring him to justice, if not within the next 48 hours, then within the 48 hours after that and so on. In the mean time, I encourage everyone to use push showers. This may be a conspiracy of the opposition to make us look bad.”

In recent development, another partial fingerprint was obtained by the CID from a balti the Bandit allegedly threw at Gobi Khatun's bathroom window on Friday night. “We believe the Bandit was trying to send the honourable Minister a message of some sort,” says Rezaul Haq, who is still in charge of this case. When asked if the message may be hygiene related, he refused to comment.

The forensics team is now hard at work trying to identify the fingerprint by looking for a match within their extensive database. However, as this database is stored on paper (CID is still undergoing training in the use of computers), it is taking long hours and a large magnifying glass to get this job done. The DNA test results obtained from Mohfizul Alam's bodna, matches that of a donkey currently being held captive at the Mirpur Zoo.

Meanwhile, the members of the opposition party held a hunger strike yesterday outside the Parliament Building to show their protest against the inaction of the authorities in this matter. The strike lasted for half an hour.

Businessmen report that their sales of both bodnas and baltis have doubled since the Bandit's arrival and they have made more profit than all the clothing stores combined, that too during Eid season.

The citizen's protest rally that took place yesterday afternoon went all around the city and broke up without incident. The mysterious Bodna Bandit still remains at large.


All places, characters, institutions and events described in this article are fictitious. Any resemblance to any person or institution living or dead is purely coincidental.

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