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         Volume 11 |Issue 34| August 31, 2012 |


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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am a 26-year-old woman, working in a small local bank in Dhaka and living in a women's hostel. My family members live in Sylhet and I took this job to help with their household costs. It took me a while to adjust to living on my own in this city. A few months ago, one of my male colleagues asked me to be in a relationship with him and said he is in love with me. I refused him, saying it would be unprofessional but truth be told I never really liked him. Unfortunately, my refusal did not discourage him and he has become more persistent, demanding that I reciprocate his feelings. At times I feel very threatened and worry that he might harm me in some way if I don't agree to be in a relationship with him. Please tell me how I can handle this situation. He is very well respected at work so I am afraid to file a complaint against him.

Dear Afraid,
Living alone in Dhaka needs a lot of courage and I congratulate you for this. However, this experience will give you self confidence and establish you as an independent person. Independence does not come without a price and your price is facing such difficult situations. Fear should not make you weak and succumb to his demands. You have a right to refuse and must continue to do so till he accepts the reality. You should take some safeguard against possible harm. Alert friends and colleagues and if this becomes more serious then lodge a general diary against him. It does not matter if he is well respected, tell him if he does not stop bothering you then you will file a complaint against him.

Dear Mita,
I am having trouble with schoolwork. I am a boy studying in class 10, preparing for my O'Levels, but for some reason I cannot concentrate on studies at all. I am always thinking of other things like hanging out with friends or being online or playing video games. My mum tells me all the time that I should concentrate but I just can't. Is there something wrong with me?

Dear Confused,
There is nothing wrong with you at all. You are just a normal healthy growing boy who is distracted with all the distractions available. Make a plan of your activities for the day and leave enough time for all the things you like doing such as being online, video games etc. But keep aside time for studies and make a promise to your self that you will concentrate during that time. It just needs determination, I am sure you can do it.

Dear Mita,
I am a 52-year-old unmarried woman. I used to live with my mother but she passed away recently and I have been very alone since then. I have no siblings and all my cousins are busy with their families. I live alone and work at a school. While my work keeps me occupied, I hate coming home to an empty house. I find myself wishing I had married when the time was right so I would have a companion to share my old age with. Do you think it is too late for me to find someone and have a family?

Dear Alone,
It is too late to lament why you did not get married at the right time. I am sure you had good reasons not to. I agree it must be lonely to come back to an empty house. Everyone needs a companion to share joys and sorrows with. To your question whether there is still time to find someone to share your life with, I can say with confidence that of course there is time to have a companion. There are many single, divorced and widowed men facing the same situation who would love to become a part of your life. The challenge is to find the right person. Please take help from family, friends etc. Any resourceful person will make the connection for you. You may also seek help from credible matrimonial services.


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