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      Volume 11 |Issue 45| November 16, 2012 |


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Write to Mita

Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I have a really annoying problem I have been meaning to write to you about for a long time. I am a very impatient person and by that I mean abnormally impatient. I hate waiting for anything even if it is for a minute and of late, this has escalated. I have been shouting at people at work and at home to get moving. I have severe road rage and even my friends refuse to hang out with me. I am always ashamed after I lose my temper but at the time it is happening I just can't control it. What can I do to stop this?

Dear Impatient,
I am sorry but there is no excuse to be rude, angry or shout at people. Just think how you would feel if others behaved in the same way with you. Socially you are heading towards disaster and the sooner you rectify your behaviour the better for you. If you keep on telling yourself that you cannot control it then that is the way it will remain. You have to make a bigger effort to control your temper, of changing your attitude towards others and learning to be humble. Please remember, you are not such a great personality that people have to take such behaviour from you. Moreover, people everywhere are respected and loved for their talent and behaviour not for showing off which is what others will accuse you off. So next time you are on the road, or in a situation where you might lose your temper, take a deep breath and constantly tell your self that the person you are about to confront is a better human being and cannot not be shouted at, in the street, home or work.

Dear Mita,
I have been dating a guy for three years now and things have been perfect. The problem is, they have been too perfect. He is really nice to me, never fights with me and when I argue with him he just gives in and agrees with me on everything. I know all this sounds wonderful and I thought so too at first and I don't mean to sound ungrateful for my good fortune in finding such a nice guy, but I am sick and tired of him being so nice to me all the time. Do I have a problem?

Dear Strange,
Your problem though unusual is not totally unheard of. There is something called “bored with perfection”. I have heard of it before. However, having said that, try to see the positive in this. Compare him with all the rude, inconsiderate and selfish people we come across. Would you rather be with them? Perhaps this guy is a superior kind of person who gets pleasure in seeing others happy. He does not like confrontation and that is why he gives in. If this bothers you so much then draw him in a conversation about it. Be a little provocative and see how he reacts, goad him into getting a little annoyed and let him know that you enjoy a good argument in which it is not necessary to come to an agreement.

Dear Mita,
I am in love with a man who is about 30 years older than me. He is my dad's good friend and I have known him since I was a child and although I am now 23 he still treats me like a child. I want him to notice that I've grown up and care about him as something other than my dad's friend. He left his wife a few years ago and he is single and I am an adult now and I think it would be perfect if we got together. How can I get him to notice me as an attractive, desirable woman? Please help.
In love

Dear In love,
My first reaction and considered opinion is that this is a disaster. Please try to get out of this as soon as you can. 30 years older is too old for you and whatever you say, this will not work. I cannot give you any advice that will help you to attract him. This might be a temporary fancy for you because as time will elapse you will find that you have nothing in common. He must be 53 and has time to find a partner who will be compatible and willing to share his life as a companion and spend the rest of her life with him. Please let him be and find for yourself someone closer to you age.


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