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    Volume 12 |Issue 04| January 25, 2013 |


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Write to Mita

Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
A member of my family has committed a terrible crime and I am the only one who knows about it. My older brother has been stealing credit cards from people and using them to make extravagant purchases before discarding them. He thinks it is an amusing thing to do, quick and easy and his friends help him out. I discovered this when I overheard a conversation he was having with one of them and then questioned him about it. He tried to convince me to keep quiet about it and promised me that he'll buy me whatever I want. I was extremely disturbed. I love my brother and don't want him to go to jail. I haven't told a soul about this. How can I get him out of this without getting him into trouble?

Dear worried,
This is a very difficult situation for you but you have to be brave and face the consequences whatever they may be. Please tell your brother that what he is doing is not amusing but a crime punishable by law. If he gets caught he will face a jail sentence of at least 10 years. Warn him that if he does not stop then you will tell your parents. Give him a deadline, either he stops or goes and confesses to your parents. If you don't act then you might become accessory to the crime. This is a very serious and you should confide in someone older and matured.

Dear Mita,
I have never been in relationships and nor do I want to be in one anytime soon, at least not before I turn sixteen. However, my best friend's boyfriend, who she adores by the way, has lately started hitting on me. He calls me and texts me late at night and whenever we are left alone, even if it's for a few minutes he tries to get close and tells me he finds me attractive. I love my best friend and I know the right thing to do would be to tell her, but Mita, I know how the world works. It can go two ways, he'll deny it and she'll believe him or she'll believe him and leave him but either way I am the bad guy who she will want nothing to do with because I told her this terrible truth. What should I do to save our friendship and protect her from this loser?

Dear Friend
He certainly is a loser who does not deserve any ones sympathy, let alone love. Tell him his behaviour is not acceptable and if he does not stop then you will tell your friend. If your friendship is genuine then she will give you a chance and not walk away just because you told her the truth. You must realise that truth is often bitter and not easy to swallow. She might resent your truthfulness for the time being but will ultimately realise that you are being a true friend.

Dear Mita,
I am a 50-year-old man and have never been married. I lost my father at a young age and had to take on the responsibility of my sisters and I didn't think a wife would understand or be okay with that. So, I decided to stay single but my sisters have long been married and they both live abroad and I am living all alone. Lately I am regretting my decision not to marry and have asked my cousins and friends to look for me, but whoever they find are too young or divorced with young children and I don't think I want to raise children at this age (having raised two sisters already). What do you suggest I can do about my situation? How do I meet a like-minded woman who is right for me at this age?

Dear Alone,
What you need is a female friend, companion and then wife. Don't rush into a marriage commitment. It is true that you have lost time but I am sure there are many women who are lonely and looking for someone like you. You must realise that finding a women close to your age who does not have children is going to be difficult. Women in our culture get married generally before they are 30 and have children by 35. Look for someone with children but are older. This way you will not have to raise them plus will get a sense of family. Don't stay away from such a situation, keep an open mind, look for a like-minded person and don't put too much emphasis on if she has children or not. After all marrying at this age will come with some compromises.


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