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The Push Of Gravity!

(All the characters in this story are totally fictitious. Any resemblance to anyone living, dead or yet unborn is totally coincidental.)

The scene was all set for a romantic extravaganza. There were those birds chirping all around. There was this sun bathing in a pool of liquid gold. Above all, no one else was around. Yet Tushar edged away!

"Why didn't you propose to her, you formidable cow dung?" I yelled when Tushar called me that evening.

"Err…Well…err… I forgot to take the XXX Deodorant."

I don't know if you've ever tried to kick somebody's @$$ over telephone. Well, I tried that that very moment. Tushar, you might also know him as Bamboo Tushar or Mushy Tushy depending on which friend circle you belong to, was blindly in love with this girl Pinky. The girl too seemed to be all jumpy for Tushar. Everything patched up, what? All Tushar had to do was to go ahead and propose to Pinky. And, they would live happily ever after.

But, the problem was that Tushar hadn't had the nerves to propose to Pinky. He edged away the first time because he had forgotten to take a particular brand chewing-gum. The advertisement of that chewing-gum shows that a guy goes to propose to a girl without taking the product in question, and before he can even finish uttering the three magic words, the girl squeaks and runs away because of his bad breathe. Pretty touching, I must say.

The second time Tushar edged away because he had forgotten to apply a particular fairness-cream on his face. The third time it was a hair-gel. And now, it's a deodorant. God knew what more was coming.

For some reasons I had no contact with Tushar for the next few days. When I finally had one, at the end of the third day, it was pretty bizarre. I was dawdling around an almost lonely alley, when I happened to see a few kids throwing pebbles at someone or something hidden at the corner of an adjacent dustbin. Now, my relationship with the little kids have always been a chirpy one. I mean, no matter what elders think of me, the kids have always found in me a sensible, generous and warm-hearted pal. Thus when I asked one of those kids what were they throwing pebbles at, he got on his toes and told me that there was a pagla hiding beside the dustbin, crying "Tanky, tanky, tanky" every now and then. Not only that, the kid also gave me a few pebbles saying that I could have a try myself, if I cared enough for such a thing. I didn't want to disappoint the little kid. So I took one pebble, and threw it at the pagla hiding beside the dustbin. My aim must have been dead accurate and rather forceful, because the pagla cried, "Ouch!"

Now, it was one of those "Ouch" which make you stop and wonder if you have heard it before. What I mean to say, if you get my drift, is that the "Ouch" seemed somewhat familiar to me. Perplexed, I went around the dustbin to see who that pagla really was.

Turning around I got myself hit at the back of the head with an invisible baseball-bat. Because, half-lying beside the dustbin was Tushar. His hair was unkempt, his hexagonal, rimless spectacle was covered with dust, his punjabi was dirty, and as if to make sure that he was indeed Tushar, he was mumbling, "Pinky! Pinky! Pinky!"

Now, I tell you one thing. You can be a formidable cow dung, you may not have the guts to propose the girl you love. But, if you are a friend of mine you'll be finding me by your side if you ever happen to be half-lying beside some dustbin mumbling "Pinky! Pinky! Pinky!" or whatever the name is in your case. It's worthless to mention that at Tushar's distressful sight, my heart got saturated with brotherly sympathy. I went up to Tushar, and patted his back.

"Don't worry. Don't worry at all, you poor fellow."

Tushar looked at me dolefully and cried, "Pinky! Pinky!

I called up Pinky that very evening. Our conversation was as follows:

Self: "Hello. Could I talk to Pinky?"

Pinky: "No. She's out. I'm her mother. Who are you?"

Self: "I'm her father."

Pinky: "Oh… Tawsif… sorry dosto. I thought it was just another prank call."

Self: "It's OK. How's life?"
Pinky: "All cloudy."

Self (frowning): "Why?"

Pinky (with a sigh): "I'm in love with a donkey, who doesn't even try to understand my feelings."

Self (tentatively): "Does that donkey happen to wear a hexagonal, rimless spectacle?"

Pinky (even more tentatively): "Yes."

Self (triumphantly): "Well… that donkey also loves you."

Pinky (with a squeak): "O What! O What! O What! O Really… really… really…"

would've preferred to talk to Pinky a little more. But she, most assumably, had thrown away her telephone, and was screaming and jumping all around her room. After a while I heard a thud and a large squeak. Assuming that Pinky had either fallen down from the bed or banged her head on the ceiling I hung up.

The scene was all set for a romantic extravaganza, once again. There were those birds chirping all around. There was this sun bathing in a pool of liquid gold. There were Tushar and Pinky, strolling across a rose garden. And I was also there, hiding behind an adjacent bush. I had to prompt dialogue for Tushar, in case if he forgot any.

Tushar was all perfect today. He had the right fairness-cream, the right hair-gel, the right deodorant, and was chewing the right chewing-gum. For a while he was complaining about his underwear, though. But I had warned him that he would never need one if he failed this time.

Tushar and Pinky were toddling along.

"Err…well…err…" Tushar said. "Nice day. Ain't it?"
"Well…err…err…" Pinky replied. "Yes, yes."
"Pretty healthy weather. Ain't it?"
"Yes. Yes."
"Mild sunlight. No UV Ray."
"Yes. Yes."

At this point I yelled from the bush.
"Stop talking about the weather, you @*$*@$."

Pinky jumped up with a squeak. (She wasn't aware of my presence.)

"Tushar, Tushar. Did you hear a voice"
"Well…well…" Tushar mumbled, glancing at the bush tentatively. "No, not really. No one else is here. Let's walk on."

With this the two walked on. This time Pinky made the first move.

"So, you were saying something, Tushar."
"Yes… yes… yes… Love… err… I mean lovely, lovely, lovely… the weather is lovely."
“A nice breeze blowing."
"No air pollution."

I felt like playing football with Tushar's @$$. Since that was impossible I clutched my hair, and have out a grunt. My grunt must've been pretty audible, because Pinky jumped up and squeaked once again.

"Tushar! Tushar!! This place must be haunted."

Pinky clutched Tushar's hands. Tushar clutched Pinky's hands. I clutched my hands, a broad grin appearing on my face. I coughed my throat clear. Pinky jumped and squeaked for the third time. I produced a psychopathic laughter. Pinky dived into Tushar's arms right away.

And, that's how the scene was. There were even more birds chirping all around. There was this sun already gone home after the bathe. And, there was this Tushar enfolding Pinky in his arms.

"Don't be scared," he said.
"I'm not," she said.

Both looked at each other's eyes and something seemed to have been read.

"O Tushu!" Pinky cooed.
"O Pinku!" Tushar cooed.

I don't know what happened next, 'coz it was pretty dark by that time.

P.S. Thanks to Sameer for typing up the whole article for me. No one else would have been that foolish.

By Tawsif saleheen

Arrange or love marriage?

People say true love comes only once. If you are lucky consciously or unconsciously you will get it and if you are not then may be you would never know about its presence or you will reject it. Life is like a plane journey. There are so many formalities you have to perform but after that you will be on air only for a short while. You can't even know when you have left a long way behind you. Though the journey is very short, we need a companion who will always be by your side, a friend to share your feelings. And that's why people get married. But how will you measure who is the perfect guy for you? Some people say love marriage is the best, some say arrange marriage is safe and others say it's your luck just accept whatever comes in your luck. There are also people like me who spend their valuable time just in thinking because of this and this reason may be love marriage is the best or may be because of those reasons arrange marriage is the best. And becomes confused about what to do, why to do and most importantly when to do? Finding no other alternatives I had began to do an assessment about other's thinking on this topic. Obviously my friends were my first attack. At first they tried to send me to "PABNA". But when they found that I really wanted to know, they helped me a lot. But you know what I'm still confused. So now I have put myself in that 3rd category- it's your luck, just accept whatever written in your luck. But before closing my assessment I want to share my valuable research papers (!!!) with you guys.

People who think love marriage is the best have many strong reasons. In love marriage two people have the opportunity to know each other closely before the marriage. In most cases (if they haven't showed off) they already knows each other's likings & disliking. So they can prepare themselves before the marriage and can adjust and compromise easily. But there are also some conflicts like they always have high expectation from each other. But when they start living together its not always possible to maintain that expectation. As a result heart breaks. They also get less family support. But in arrange marriage, two guys don't know each other properly so they don't have high expectation. From starting they have the tendency to know each other. But faces many difficulties to adjust. Sometimes they even find that he/she is not the right person for her/him. There remain fewer tendencies to compromise. In most cases ego comes before the relationship. "Why me? Why not he/ she?". But in arrange marriage two people gets full family support. Some people also think arrange marriage is good only if you get the opportunity to know your partner properly before the marriage. And the time range should be at least 6 months. In this case you will get the benefits of the both.

Actually life is not mathematics. Here every thing is uncertain. You can't predetermine that you won't do love marriage. What would you do if you begin to love someone? You can't even say that you will do love marriage and then try to fall in love. None of them is possible. Because we don't know when, why and how do these things happened. We can just try to be realistic before taking any step. But no matter which system you prefer, the main building blocks are love, trust, caring, compromise, and patience. And the most important thing is ego shouldn't come before the relationship and try to love the word "sorry". It shouldn't be a taboo. Remember, it's your life. Make it or break it - it's up to you.

By Suravi

11+2 = 13!?!

Is cricket a game of 11 players per team only? Think for a while and then answer. I think you will agree with me, that the answer is sometimes 'yes' and sometimes 'no'. Although there are 11 players in a team in a cricket match, sometimes the game is also played with 13 players in a team and with 11 in the other! Can you guess who the other two players are?

If you are a regular spectator of the matches played among different countries, then you should. They are not the 12th or the 13th man of a team. Rather they are well respected by both the teams. They stand in the field throughout the game and in many cases turn the result of the match in their own way. They are the two bloody umpires. They do not play the game themselves, but make serious impact on the game.

The work of the two umpires in the filed are known to everyone. But are they doing their work honestly and correctly? This is a big big question. It has been seem that, many wrong decisions made by umpires has changed the course of many matches dramatically.

It is normal that man make mistakes. But it becomes abnormal when the same mistake is made again and again. During the 60's, 70's and 80's science was not so developed. So the wrong decisions made by the umpires then could be allowed. But now in this 21st century, where science has developed so much that every single decisions can be made accurately by using the TV replay, the mistakes that the umpires are making are not tolerable.

Here is a very recent example. In the 'Super Asia Cup' played between Pakistan and Bangladesh, Pakistan has played with 13 players. In most innings many decisions were given against the Bangladesh team which were completely wrong and were made, intentionally. On the other hand the Pakistanis were not given 'out' in different occasions which were preety clean. The caught behind decision made against Alok Kapali in the 2nd innings of the 3rd Test Match was really horrible. In umpire Russel Tiffin blind or does he has any eye problem? If so, he should not be umpiring and should be kicked off by the ICC. In that very match in the 2nd innings of Pakistan many LBW appeals made against Ingamam and Saqlain were refused. But the TV replay shows that most of those decisions should have gone against them.

If these kinds of things keep on going them what is the use of 3rd umpire? Why don't the umpires in the field don't take help from him in these tough situations? Are these wrong decisions made intentionally? Yes, obviously. These freak umpires are bribed by one team and they play for that particular team indirectly.

Some people might say that, many umpires are old. So, it is tough for them to stand in the field for long 7-8 hours which results in these kinds of mistakes. If this is the fact then they should give up their job, but should not make such careless mistakes.

The ICC should be very strict in sobring this problem. Laws should be made for the umpires too. If they make too many wrong decisions in a match, then those culprit umpires should be suspended or their fees should be cut off. Otherwise this problem will never be solved. It should also be investigated whether these umpires are bribed or not.

Inspite of all these, Bangladesh has done well in the Super Asia Cup. They are surely improving. Thanks to the coach Dave Whatmore and congratulations to the whole Bangladeshi team for their bright performance. Bravo Bangladesh, Bravo!

By Debashish Ghosh







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