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How To Get A Guy In 10 Days

So you've been staring at him while pretending that you are not. You've done your 'little investigation' to find out his birthday, you know his telephone number by heart and every night you go to bed with thoughts of this 'dream hunk' lulling you to sleep. Now, if only you knew how to get him. Well, think no longer, we have come up with a plan that'll have him in your back pocket in about a week.

Step 1: Befriend the friend. The friend will be a great source when finding out more about the guy. Find out what his latest fascination is. Ask if another girl is involved in his life. If the answer is negative, proceed happily. If he does, well, ask God to help the poor girl deal with heartbreak.

Step 2: Dress well. No matter how much we hate to admit it, it's true that appearance (in the early stages) is important even in the most enduring love story. By this, I don't mean you need to look like Liv Tyler. Just carry yourself with style. Choose colours that compliment your looks and the accessories that make you look your best. When you are around him, get your guy friends to say very loudly how good you're looking.

Step 3: Invest in perfume. A good scent can be haunting, so make sure you leave a subtle smell of "you" lingering inside his head.

Step 4: Buy shoes that click, or make a sound when you walk. Wear anklets that chime softly as you walk (and keep your toenails painted). When you enter the room he's in, make sure he realizes your presence.

Step 5: After finding out about what gets his adrenaline pumping (whether it's a Play Station game or some heavy metal band or a certain sport), do a little research on it. Then the next time you two are together, strike up a conversation very innocently. Ask a question related to it, instead of leaving a comment (to avoid a chance of disagreement). He'll feel more than happy to get a chance to yak-yak about it.

Step 6: Compliment. Sometimes, it pays to be bold instead of shy. It gets messages across. For God's sake, pluck up the courage. Or strike up a conversation about meanings of names and ask him what his name means. Say you like it or think it's funny or unusual.

Step 7: Ask him for his help. Most guys like chances of being able to display their macho-ness. Give your calculator a tiny bang when he isn't noticing and ask him to take a look at it. Or tell him you don't know what to do about some computer-related problem. Or if he's really good at something like Maths or Physics, ask him to help you with a certain problem. Tell him you wish you were as good at it as he is.

Step 8: Sit near him in class. Conveniently, "forget" to bring a book (do this in an unimportant class, knowing for sure you won't get into trouble with the teacher). Make one of your friends sitting nearby suggest that you share the book with him.

Step 9: Similarly, keep extra stationery handy to share with him. Since he's a guy, on most days he'll forget the pen or lose the pencil. Offer them to him during some important test; you'll form the classic connection of 'help-and-helper-in-crisis'.

Step 10: Be in a generally happy mood around him. Girls laugh differently from guys, and believe me, they notice it. When you laugh around him (and unless your laugh sounds like Janice from F.R.I.E.N.D.S), he'd register it in his head. Laugh a lot, smile a lot and he'd want to know how come you stay so light-hearted all the time. Cheerfulness is a magnetic quality. Also since guys are prone to cracking politically incorrect jokes or are high on sarcasm, it's good to develop an ability to laugh at yourself.

Step 11: If you two are on calling terms, call him from places where you have a lot of noise in the background. It's a strategy that doesn't fail. Give him the impression that you're always having a fabulous time and if he wants to let be let in the excitement, he's got to try harder to know you.

Step 12: While sending him forwards, send the mail to tons of other people as well so he knows that you have something in you that attracts so many friends.

Step 13: Eat freely in front of him. A girl who nibbles at her food, leaves them almost untouched, talks about her ongoing diet all the time, and is obsessed with her weight is perceived as someone nervous and lacking self-confidence. Instead, leave the diets for the dinner table at home; in front of him, eat your food and enjoy it.

Step 14: Be open to conversations. No decent guy likes a brainless twit of a girl. So read and watch the news. Be in a position where you can talk about anything_ the latest on the Mars mission, animal rights, Iraq and Saddam Hussein, etc. When you open your mouth, he'll be more than impressed.

Step 15: Listen. Most guys have a genetic code that makes them tell long stories of the time they fell down from their bike at five and broke a bone, or how they got mobbed somewhere, or how they had their first smoke at some pre-school age. No matter how pointless these stories might sound, listen and at least try to look interested.

Step 16: As the wise women have stated, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. If your culinary skills rival that of a five star hotel chef, cook up a meal and with each stir, silently chant a spell that will bind him to you. Then feed him the magic portion.

Step 17: If you can't cook, you can still offer him a little something. Sit near him during class and offer him a Polo or a chewing gum. He has to smile and say thank you.

Step 18: Find out what his sun sign is. Supposing he's a Leo,make a friend say something like, "I hate Leo guys." Then launch into a defense for Leo guys, stating all their good qualities. Make sure he gets to hear you. And mention something vaguely about you being most compatible with Leo guys (even if the astrologers don't agree).

Step 19: Flirt with other guys (his friends, if possible) in his presence. Don't overdo it, since you don't want him to get you wrong. But do it enough to make him feel jealous and a tiny bit left out. If he's a guy with any sense, he'll see how good you make others feel and come running to you for the same treatment.

Step 20: Exude confidence. It's attractive and he'd always want to know your secret. Remember, deep down, a lot of guys are insecure no matter how much they try to cover it up with their guy-of-the-world attitude.

By The Other Twin


Fat chance, long shot, tall order!

Cheapest expensive perfume for...err...dearly beloved: Tk. 1500; Card from Archies: Tk. 60; Candies/Chocolate:
Tk. 250; Flowers: Tk 150; Bribing younger brother to deliver flower and related accessories: Tk. 200; Pizza: Tk.800; Mobile phone bill: astronomical.

Twenty-four hours (or more) of anxiety, the depreciation of one's self-worth not to mention the wallet and frustrated discussions on "How I never have a good Valentine's Day," culminating in lots of regret and swearing ("Can't believe I wasted all that money on someone like her! The --- !") and a bitterness that lasts a lifetime...priceless!

Ah, well...happy Valentine's Day, folks!
14th Feb. An evocative occasion for every couple (minus the limited few with brains), a distinct time for expressing the all too familiar words, accompanied by flowers and red hearts dangling from something more ludicrous than the concept of V-day. Emotions in check a calendar on one hand and an empty wallet on the other to be blurted eloquently on the special day.
Then again, nobody said life wasn't ironic.

Here we are, with yet another Valentine's Day looming rosily in the near horizon. The otherwise polluted air of Dhaka is bustling with the vibrant vibes of love, as the card and gift shops make massive profit, exuberantly selling an eclectic assortment of V-day gifts (the ridiculousness of which remains a matter of critical controversy). While the lovers make meticulous preparations to celebrate the all-important occasion of undying love, the sardonic sceptics, such as myself, continue to raise our eyebrows and snigger at the unnecessary hype abound.

The other day, this naive classmate accosted me. After a lot of preliminary blushing and stammering, he blurted out that upon discovering my ability to put two sentences together, he desperately sought my learned assistance in writing a love letter for his beloved. Suppressing the irresistible desire of doubling up with laughter, with a straight face, I proposed some lines resembling remarkably those of our Dhaliwood movies. Sorry, my friend, for my meanness, but you couldn't have picked up a worse person to ask for help. Kind of like asking Mother Teresa for advise on the best way to bomb the innocent children of Calcutta!

Don't get me wrong here. It's not like I have anything against love, per se. I did like Pride and Prejudice, and maybe even shed a tear or two watching...well, err...there must have been at least one movie! What is so infuriating about the whole concept of V-day is the commercialisation of love romance and Hallmark, hand in hand; branded, packaged and marketed, to be sold to gullible buyers.... Imagine Darcy carrying a teddy bear with a red heart in its arms that displays, "I love you," proposing to Elizabeth. Exactly. God forbid!

Okay, fine. For the sake of argument, let us say that it is a day to celebrate love because St. Valentine expressed his love for his sweetheart on this day just before he died. Admirable sentiments, but it turns out all too cliché
d in real life. Is it really that special to express your love to the person you adore on a particular day, showering her/him with expensive gifts, when millions of others are doing the same? Wouldn't it be much more memorable if you did so on an ordinary day, wearing ordinary clothes, with an ordinary flower picked up from your own shrubbery a day that would be imprinted on both your memories forever (I see that I am getting a little carried away here!), special to just the two of you? The catch would be that in this day of chrome and mortar there aren't any shrubberies worth picking, but that makes it even more alluring, don't you think?

Bashing aside, love too, is undergoing an evolution. Gone are the golden days of everlasting love when a lover would sacrifice his life for the sake of his beloved's beloved, saying, "Tis a far, far better thing that I do than I have ever done...", or when a woman would remain devoted to the memory of her betrothed and die an old maid. In the era of speed and technology, love is severely overrated spiced with the bits and the bytes. The eternal love that once threatened to forfeit life for the sake of X dies remarkably fast, and a new eternal love is rekindled for Y, which, too, expires quicker than Bush can decide which country to "liberate". And a force Z rides into the scene.

Of course, there is always the possibility that amidst the muddled tangle of undervalued romance and commercialised love, there will emerge, on this Valentine's Day, like a ray of sunshine in the midst of fog, two passionate hearts dedicated to each other, who would defy all odds and whose perpetual love for each other will thrash the likes of Romeo and Juliet or Laili and Mojnu... you get the general picture...but as the topic so vociferously articulates, the chances of that happening is a...well..."Long shot, fat chance, tall order!"

By Preetha


The Candle

The candle was set alight
Leading the path towards every right
Darkness had occupied the vastness of the sky
Fazed by the facts
That life whispered raucously unheard
Now turned a definite reality
One would easily believe its veracity.

Amazed by the different walks
Endured through a violent storm
Tearing the core, shattering like rocks
Was this the mildest form?
Gone was all now, the name, the fame
The candle in the dark only set aflame
Giving a little hope
Of lighting my world
Silent were my lips without a word
In my unseen dark globe.

By Farah Laika Islam


As I saw Australia

This winter I went to Australia with my parents. The Aircraft of Singapore Airlines reached Sydney via Yangoon and Singapore on December 16, 2003.

We went to the Sydney city centre, the great Opera House, the harbour bridge, Darling harbour, China Town, the great 19th Century Fox Theatre.

I then went to see the Sydney Aquarium the most spectacular aquarium in the world. More than 11000 animals spanning 650 species are there. The species which interested me most were the Mushroom Coral, the various types of fish, the water dragons, the platypus, the Long-necked turtle, the giant crocodile, the Moon jelly fish, sea-horses, sharks, seals and octopus etc.

After that, we went to Taranga Zoo, Australia's Premier Zoo and Wildlife Park. We reached there by harbour cruise and cable car. The most exciting animals I saw were the kangaroos and koalas. The other Aussie animals were Australia's nightlife: echidna, emu, dingo, Australian birds, seal, the Tasmanian Devil, wombat, chimpanzee, giraffe, elephant, crocodiles, lions etc.

There are lots of beaches there. We went to La perouse, Maroubra, Koggiee, and Captain Cook's landing place, named after the explorer who discovered Australia. In all the sight seeing tours my uncle, auntie and Atif Bhaiya were with us.

I didn't miss out on the Sydney Wonderland where I enjoyed a lot. The rides I enjoyed are Space Probe, The Demon, Dragon Flight, and remote-controlled boats, and many others.

We went by Qantas Airlines to Canberra, the capital territory of Australia from Sydney, which took only 40 minutes. We saw the Australian National Parliament House, Famous Australian war Memorials, the Talestra Tower, Bangladesh Chancery and Central Hill Tops of Canberra.

By Syed Masrur Rafid

 

 

 

 
 

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