of the week:
You can't turn on the news or look at a newspaper without hearing the latest on the flood situation. In fact, even those of you who stay dosh haat durey from anything newsy, can't help but be aware of the situation every time you step out of your homes.
Indeed, the deluge that's swamping the country right now has left us in a sorry state of affairs. While we wade through the smelly waters, some other Dhakaites are fighting to save their drinking water. People in the rural areas have lost not only their homes, but also with the crops destroyed, they have a lean patch ahead of them, and if this is not bad enough, diseases like diarrhoea and cholera are already on the rise. When it rains, it really pours.
As concerned as I am about the situation, I can't help but wonder whether everyone is actually suffering as much as the hype goes. You hear regular reports about how some crafty moneymakers are making a quick buck by extorting money in the name of collecting relief funds. Not all the money you send for relief actually makes it to those who need them. Some of it, in fact quite a large portion of it is squirreled away into the pockets of someone who's probably laughing his dishonest derriere off at having made light of someone's problems.
Every time I leave home, armed to the teeth to wade through evil-smelling waters to reach my workplace, I have to pass through a makeshift slum that's sprung up on the pavements overnight. You see the broken thatched houses, the inundated buildings, and the hopeless faces in the news? You won't find that here, no sirree. It's like a carnival out of a Dickens novel, with little shanty-houses built from fresh tarpaulin, sophisticated latrines, and what not. The 'flood victims' here spend the whole day sitting on those wooden benches, singing merrily, enjoying free meals of khichuri thrice a day that's being doled out by relief-workers. Yesterday, I saw three young children learning how to ride a bike. The rickshaws are lined up in gleaming rows against the walls, and if you want to catch one to cross a flooded road that's inaccessible by car, the rickshaw-pullers will simply laugh in your face. Don't believe me? Just come to Gulshan and you'll see for yourself.
I'm sure many of
you out there have your own tales about the flood. If you'd like to
share your experience with us, please feel free to write in. Till our
next tete-a-tete, take care, and stay dry!
Ways to tell your exthat you’re over
Talk really loud when s/he's around. Make sure each
of your conversation has the word 'hot' describing someone of the opposite
By Miss Exasperated
...In a Bengali wedding
The bride and the
groom have this preconceived notion that they must arrive late for their
By The Anonymous Rambler
Life isn't fair when…
1.You are watching
a harmless show on Star World, and the Baywatch ad (you know, the one
with the awful Opera music) is abruptly aired just when your parents
come near the TV.
(The following Horror-scope was written for your reading pleasure and therefore should be taken as a form of amusement. Hence, some of the following stunts (?) should not be tried at home.)
Aries (March 21- April 19): Wondering why that man (double your age) keeps staring at you? Even if you happen to be a boy? Since Pluto's rays take ten years to reach us, we finally found the answer to your question. You are apparently a clone of this man and he is still wondering why you don't look anything like him.
Taurus (April 20- May 20): We guarantee that you will find the love of your life this week. For the girls, he will be tall, dark, handsome and rich and as for the guys, she will be tall, fair, slim and rich. Now all you have to do is print some ads saying that you're looking for either a tall, dark, handsome and rich guy or a tall, fair, slim and rich girl. Oh and don't forget to mention that you yourself fall in the same category.
Gemini (May 21- June 21): We were told that you have holes in your socks. You are probably checking them right now and saying no, but seriously you do. There is no way that you can disagree with us! We are never wrong about these things. Let's just face the "spiritual" facts here. If you don't have holes in your socks, how do you put them on?
Cancer (June 22- July 22): So what really happened to those cookies Little Red Riding Hood took to Grannys? Well we know for sure that when the big bad wolf was showing his large teeth to the frightened girl, he didn’t have time to keep an eye on those cookies. Since we never really hear about those cookies again, we assume that it was sent over to your house and you had some yourself. Know how we know that? Wipe the crumbs off your face, you greedy ghoul!
(July 23- Aug. 22): This week you go on a diet. No wait, there's
Aunt Rima's wedding anniversary on Monday. You can't say no to her delicacies.
There's your best friend's Birthday on Tuesday. You must not disappoint
him/her. There's your ex-boyfriend's twin cousin's mother's fifth marriage
on Wednesday. There's…
Virgo (Aug. 23- Sept. 22): You might struggle financially this week. There is a way to make easy money though. First, try to fit yourself into the smallest and tiniest pieces of garments possible (if desperate then you can do the following without wearing anything), step outside and start playing kabadi by yourself. Very soon, even beggars will shower you with money out of sympathy for your craziness.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23): You hate the idea of video games. You don't see the point of numbing your fingers then ending up starting the game all over again. In other words, you wouldn't mind killing Niloy, but know what? He works for RS so he's practically brain dead. We suggest that you leave him alone. Nevertheless, we encourage you to go ahead and burn down all the video game stores around Dhaka this week
Scorpio (Oct. 24- Nov. 21): Short? Chubby? Dark? Oily hair? Smiling at the sound of "more milk on the way"? Just as we thought, you are starting to look like the neighbourhood milkman. It's time to get yourself a plastic surgery and go live with Michael Jackson. He loves kids.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22- Dec. 21): It's time to teach your mother a few things about cooking this week! Show her some easy ways to satisfy everyone at dinner. Actually it's only a three-step process. Step into a restaurant, order the meal and eat!
Capricorn (Dec. 22- Jan. 20): We understand that the "special" someone in your life has been ignoring you for a while. Apparently you are too dull and need to spice yourself up a little bit. Well here's the solution. Take 14 green chillies, 16(dry) red chillies and 4 tsp of chilli powder and grind it together. Stand in front of him/her and consume the whole mixture you have just made. The result should show him/her just how spicy you can be.
Aquarius (Jan. 21- Feb. 19): We believe that you are losing your sense of directions and can't seem to find your way about places. Listen carefully because we have the remedy. Step outside your house. Take twenty steps forward, five to the right, ten to the right again, ten steps forward and five to the right again. If you have worked it out and seem to still be standing on the road somewhere then you're not losing any sense of direction, you're losing your brain as a whole.
Pisces (Feb. 20- March 20): Can't decide which transportation to take this week? Well go and stand in the middle of the road and yell at the top of your voice saying "Oii, you crazy cows! You cant drive or anything, yet you act like you own the roads you beef balls!" Immediately either a Rickshaw, a CNG, a taxi or a bus will try to run over you. So we recommend you "NOT" to take whatever it is that hit you first.
By Shayera Moula
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