about sparing a thought on some spare moments of life - that collectively
have an immense effect on our identity??
When I was 6 or 7 years old, noontime was irksome for me as I was compelled to sleep at that time even though I had millions of cunning plans in my brilliant head to accomplish, yet I had to spend this spare time SLEEPING.
Later, when I become a teen I spent my spare times thinking about the HERO of my life, had colorful dreams before my eyes and made them stronger through regular movie sessions! As I grew older and enrolled in the college, I felt like I am a free bird now. My behavior must've revealed how callow I was. Well, at that time most of spare times were spent on reading romantic storybooks. Now, my spare times are spent on building and rebuilding dreams of a family…raising a child….
I would like to put some light on the chores I've been doing at my spare time till this age. This may sound awful but almost all the average family girls in our country spend a life in similar pattern. My intention was not to reminisce my past but to discuss the pattern the girls spend their time and thus develop an immature mentality as they grow.
In this modern competitive world they lose their ability due to improper mental growth and inadequate knowledge. They are not aware of the way they should spend and utilize their time, develop maturity and adolescence as they grow. From my perspective I find family to be sole responsible for such unorganized growth. Because it is up to them to bias a child's mentality towards acquiring cognizance, to develop them in a way so that they go on the right track and have the knowledge of comparing right and wrong rather than being skeptical.
I have always emphasized on gaining knowledge through newspapers, magazines, and famous books on different issues, Channels that broadcast discovery, news especially for girls. Because I have felt that crying or shouting for equal rights will not give us the right. Nor will wearing jeans and pants. Rather we should seek for knowledge that will broaden our minds, develop our thought process and let us make independent. I find it to be the accurate process that will make us able to achieve our goal, not to have equal right but to establish ourselves, to be the person we are and have a meaning for the life we are leading. To have an IDENTITY! From my point of view that will give solutions to all kind of obstacles girls are facing in developing countries.
It's like a disease that has infected almost all the becharas of our generation. The wannabe-disease. There's a shadow over the East- the shadow of the West. It eats our brain up and drives us into absurd insanity until and unless we give in and try to be like them. Walk like them. Talk like them. Dress like them. Live life like them- the 'cool', 'American', 'bindas' life. The Western life. But the plain fact is, we can never be like them because we are not them. The East and West are two different sides of the world, two different cultures. A fusion of the two is not a bad idea. But forgetting our own culture and trying to adapt somebody else's is really quite pathetic.
Knowing English is a great quality in anybody. It helps us a lot, especially when we go abroad. Moreover, being bilingual is just plain cool. But for all the people who forgot, Bangla still is our mother tongue. It is our first priority. Ironically, most English medium students can't even tell that 'ekanno' stands for 51. Hilariously, some people get A's in all subjects and a U in Bangla. Pathetically, they don't even give a damn. How cool is that?!
Television plays a huge role in our daily lives. After all, most of the 24 hours we get each day is spent by staring at it and gulping down every bit of information we possibly can. And talking about television- who's not familiar with the "K" series. You know, the series of the "K" serials. Starting with 'Kasauti' and ending with god knows what. That's the story of the parents though. The teens, however are too busy watching Buffy on Star World, the already-seen-a-million-times movies on Star Movies and HBO, and of course, the latest favourite- 'Sex and the City'. I actually know a few people who were going crazy to watch this series because the title seemed very appealing to them (get a life, people!). If everybody hangs on to cable tv for entertainment, what's going to happen to the home channels? Give them a shot too, once in a while. It's not as bad as you think.
Recently, a cousin of mine came from the States for a visit. He was born and brought up over there, and this was his first visit to Bangladesh in a very long time. So naturally I fell from the sky when he went berserk at seeing a couple kissing (only kissing) at one of the usual teen hangouts. A burst of "People do it here as well?" is not exactly what I expected from a guy who has probably grown up seeing 'it' all the time. Apparently (according to him), none of the Bangladeshis in his university back home dated (making out is out of the question). And the few of them who did go out were "looked down upon" by everybody. The simple reason he gave, "that's not us. Americans date freely because that's their culture- that's the way they are brought up. Dating different people each week is not a big dial for them. But we're not them. We've remembered that all our lives living among them. How come you people over here are so screwed up?" the people who go abroad to study, however, have a whole different story. A geek (to be more accurate, an invisible geek) I knew went abroad to study. Six months later he sent me a picture of himself- a 5'6" fat cow in baggy jeans with two girls (both at least 3 inches taller than him), one on each side. Some improvement, huh? Maybe they found his double (or triple) chin very attractive- who knows!
Bottom line- there is a shadow over the East- the shadow of the West. Be it dress up, lifestyle, the food we eat, even the way we eat it- in every single aspect of daily life, we are, undeniably influenced by them. Maybe because it's easier and obviously more fun to lead a life without any limits, rules or boundaries. But I believe everybody has their own unique identity- something that sets them apart from the rest. Denying that identity and trying to adapt a new one leaves you right in the middle- meaning nowhere. And that's my definition of 'the perfect wannabe'.
By Fahmina Rahman
You hastily pull your hair back in a ponytail, and pair critically at yourself in the mirror. Your hair is still messy; there are faint streaks of makeup all over your face and huge dark circles under your eyes…leftover evidence of your late night party.
For a split second you consider repairing your face, dismissing the idea the very next second. After all you're just going out to meet Nick, and even though he happens to be a boy, you don't need to worry, as he is also your best friend, not a guy you're out to impress. You meet him downstairs, and that's when the bomb drops. Nothing has you prepared for the shocking words he tells you…he has a serious crush on you, and wants an answer.
For a second you think this is seriously hilarious, and burst out laughing. The grave look on his face stops you however, and you realise that this is not a joke. This then puts you in a major dilemma…your best friend likes you, and you don't. This can be tricky, and if you seriously want to come out of this dilemma alive, don't ever make the mistake of writing to Pintu! His solutions will ensure that you don't emerge from this situation, alive and breathing. After your best friend's confession, conversation becomes awkward. Unable to bear it any longer you head home, where you have some serious thinking to do.
Unfortunately you decide that you can't really handle this delicate situation the same way that you handle the others (the long list of hopeless admirers whom you regularly deal with). You can't exactly say 'Hey sorry, but I don't find you appealing enough', and walk away with a clear conscience. On the other hand, you can't even call up your best friend for advice either, because in this case, your best IS the 'problem'. A sleepless night of crucial decisions is definitely in your cards.
However, if you want to really avoid the sleepless night, and a nice list of options, which you can merely choose from, then you've definitely come to the right place. Like I say…never fear cause aunt Jen's here. Hey, I know it sounds corny, but who cares! The easiest way is to go ahead and pretend that nothing happened. If your best friend has the same idea, then this'll be a piece of cake. But if he doesn't, watch out. You can't avoid a confrontation forever! Another way is to fall for a guy immediately (or pretend to) and constantly brag about it to your best friend, hoping that he'd get your unspoken message. Just a word of advice…both are easy, but sure ways of jeopardising your relationship; so beware!
The best (although not the easiest) way out is talking. Meet Nick (or whoever it is in your case) the next day, and casually bring up the topic. Be open and honest. Tell him how you feel. If you have had a crush on him before, let him know. Don't make up flimsy excuses, or false stories. You're best friend isn't like any other average guy. He knows you too well, and will be able to see straight through your lies, which will hurt him even more. Make sure everything you tell him is entirely truthful. With luck, he'll be able to understand you perfectly, and your can comfortably return to your earlier relationship. One word of advice though…if you actually start liking him, don't be afraid to spill your guts. After all, he's you best pal. And what are best friends for?
By Jennifer Ashraf
By Alvy Nower Prima
By Farah Laika Islam
By Rakshinda Huq
By Sabreena Ahmed
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