Thought of the week:
""Some people speak from experience, others from experience
do not speak."
Don't you hate hypocrites? People who flash you a 500-watt smile when
they're in front of you, and then stab you in the back the moment you
turn it? Yet there are so many around you, if you just look hard enough.
Maybe it's that girl in school, who takes a comment you might have jokingly
passed, dissects it, adds a lot of gura moshola, and then spreads it
around the whole campus. Or it could be the kid who works for you, the
one who's always extra friendly around you, but talks behind your back.
Okay, okay, I don't
intend on launching a bhashon against our hypocritical shotrus here…God
knows we've heard a lot of those over the past few weeks.
a lot of wise wisdom about the SAT on page 3 this week, so I thought
I'd share with you some actual answers from SAT tests taken in Arkansas.
:Q: Explain one
of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants
like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (E.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax
and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax
contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the
five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean?
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarian Section."
A: The caesarian section is a district in Rome.
Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.
Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport.
Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like
your polls, opinions, and queries to firstname.lastname@example.org
The Girl Next Doo
Being eloquent isn't all about having a husky voice and a fake
English accent. After all, if your word-stock isn't strong
enough to balance your well-loaded think tank, you might just as well
be a wooden plank with a cute face drawn on it.
Take the following test and see for yourself if you are a wooden plank
finagle v - A: diminish. B: betray. C: flatter. D: obtain deviously.
2. equestrian n - A: a tight-rope walker. B: a judge. C: a
rider on a horseback. D: a mathematician.
3. pusillanimous adj - A: dramatic. B: timid. C: forceful.
4. a misogynist is someone who - A: loathes women. B: studies the behaviour
of insects. C: spreads gossips. D: hates marriage.
5. versatile adj - A: troublesome. B: bizarre. C: rude. D:
6. convivial adj - A: lively. B: indicative. C: thoughtful.
7. gymnophobia is the fear of - A: gym. B: insects. C: nakedness. D:
8. evanescent adj - A: ephemeral. B: conclusive. C: wistful.
1. finagle - D: obtain deviously, i.e. The kid finagled his way out
of the punishment. The origin is uncertain.
2. equestrian - C: a rider on a horseback. The word is derived from
equus, the Latin for horse. Equestrian is also an adjective
referring to horseback riding, i.e. an equestrian statue.
3. pusillanimous - B: timid. The word is derived from the Latin roots
pusillus, tiny, and animus, mind. The pusillanimous
people are tiny minded, hence timid.
4. a misogynist is someone who - A: loathes woman. The word is derived
from the Greek roots misein, to hate, and gyne, women.
The Greek for marriage is gamos. Hence, someone who hates marriage
is a misogamist.
5. versatile - D: all-round. The word is derived from verto, to turn.
Versatile people can turn their talents in many directions. You can
also call them the Master of all games.
6. convivial - A: lively. Convivial is derived from the Latin word convivium,
which means a feast or a banquet. A convivial person is feastive, sociable,
and always cheerful.
7. gymnophobia is the fear of - C: nakedness.
8. evanescent - A: ephemeral. Short-lived. The word is derived from
the Greek vanesco, to vanish. The noun is evanescence. All
the Evanescence fans out there raise your hands!
Taking one point for each correct answer, your result:
0 - 2: Err…the cowshed is that a way.
3 - 5: Good.
6 - 7: Cool.
8 : Caught you. You had been taking help from your Thesaurus!
Scary situations taking place nowadays. Hope all our readers are fine,
and hope you all are being very careful when you venture out at night.
Anyway, I would just like to remind you that it is better if you all
do NOT send junk mail to our account. It really is hard sorting them
out of the billions of mail that we get every day. Thank you all for
bearing with us. Enjoy the column!
You really rule! And you mean a lot to me. Anyway, just wanted to let
you know that you are the best!
Happy Birthday to You (25th August). So, it is your birthday again my
dear friend. It is your friendly ways that makes our friendship so special.
The best wishes goes to my best friend. Yah Saku, I pray to the Almighty
for your good fortune and a life full of cheer and prosperity. May the
Almighty fulfill all your dreams.
Your best friend
My friends of Dhaka
College are requested to mail me at email@example.com. Please do
not mail me at my previous address.
Constructivist feminist psychotherapy psychobabble
Environmentally correct human dead
Facially challenged ugly
Cyclically challenged -- having PMS
Caucasian Culturally-Disadvantaged -- white trash
Rhythmically challenged -- white boy
Female gender biased -- prefers women who shave their legs
Government employee stupid
Uniquely fortuned individual on an alternative career path loser
Rustically inclined redneck
Factually unencumbered -- ignorant
Two friends, one
an Optimist and the other a Pessimist could never quite agree on any
topic of discussion. One day the Optimist decided he had found a good
way to pull his Pessimistic friend out of his way of continual Pessimistic
way of thinking. The Optimist owned a huntin' dog that could walk on
His plan? Take the Pessimist and the dog out duck hunting in a boat.
They got out into the middle of the lake, and the Optimist shot down
a duck...the dog immediately walked out across the water, retrieved
duck, and walked back to the boat.
The Optimist looked at his Pessimistic friend and said, "What do
you think about that?"
The Pessimist replied, "That dog can't swim, can he?"
I would like to
buy a local single bass drum set within the range of 2000-2500 TK. Anyone
interested, please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Learn advanced music
theory, techniques and composition aspects (guitar). Metal, rock, shred,
blues, jazz. By experienced teacher from USA (7 years). Contact Ron
I want to sell my
almost new headphone(new model, with computer facility). Price-negotiable
Contact: Sajid (Ph-8616482) or E-mail: email@example.com
I would like to
sell my Pentium-4 PC with Microlab 5:1 Surround Sound Speakers,which
was bought early this year(2004),as I will be leaving (for) abroad in
a week or so.Interested persons are requested to contact as soon as
possible as I will sell the PC before I leave BD(i.e.in early September.)Contact
e-mail address:firstname.lastname@example.org(A Syed);Contact telephone numbers:0171175397(Aranya
Syed) or 8812154(Nasir).
for sale. Craftsman, with four pickup selecter, one pair humbucker and
21 frets. Price 9,000(negotiable). Any one interested please contact