The week in re(ar)view
Get rich, buy cars, sit idle
Demand for cars in Bangladesh can be met but demand for roads is a major concern. Sure, greenhouse gases will increase but people will more likely die from waiting in traffic jams out of boredom and frustration.
Kill human rights activists
Former CEC Aziz is a national hero
The voter list is just like that. The people who are sent to update the list start reading and end up dead from laughter (or could it be boredom?). As a result we don't really see such people going about their work. Apparently former CEC M.A. Aziz was protecting us common folk from such a hilarious death by delaying the duties.
The 8-day list updating limit was reached and further extended another three days to December 18. That ended but many people were still left off the list.
Cheats cheated from cheating
By Gokhra and Mood Dude
Funny lines from Family Guy
”Mother, life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get. Your life, on the other hand, is like this box of ACTIVE GRENADES!”
”Son, this is a big day for you. Today, you become the man of the house, because, when we get home, your mother is going to kill me.”
“Damn the toilet! It's made slaves of you all! It just sits there consuming other people's wastes while contributing nothing of its own to society.”
Brian: Face it Peter, you get competitive about everything.
Peter: I am so not competitive. In fact, I am the least non-competitive. So I win.
I don't want your Mom to worry alright? When she worries she starts saying things like 'I told you so' or 'Stop doing that I'm asleep'.
Lois Griffin: Peter! You're bribing your
daughter with a car?
Peter Griffin: Ah, c'mon, Lois, isn't 'bribe' just another word for 'love'?
Meg Griffin: You could kill all the girls who are prettier than me.
Death: Well that would just leave England.
”Joe, I've had new neighbors before but none of them were half the man you are. And since you're half a man already, that splits them into some kind of fraction I can't even measure.”
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Khaleda Zia: "We have done everything we could to ensure a proper environment and a developed country. But some chickens will insist on complaining, and if their complaints are preferentially treated, WE CAN CROSS ROADS TOO "
Sheikh Hasina: They say that the roads are equal. Then how is it that some chickens walk and others drive? We want to drive to the other side as well, and if need be we will earn our right with egg-beaters and vending machines"
Iajuddin: "Some of the chickens were being accused of being biased. We sent them to the other side on a vacation"
Professor Yunus: "Let us forget the chickens of the past. Together, we can make chickens in future, who can develop their own side of the road. Soon I will launch my micro-murgi initiative for this end"
Lutfozzaman Babar: "Na na, this is actually kichu bogus report. I personally ate...I mean, checked all the murgis"
By Hammad Ali
V-Day celebrations at Universal Tutorial
Universal Tutorial, an English medium school, solemnly observed the 35th anniversary of the victory of Bangladesh on December 14, 2006. The school premises were decorated with Bangladeshi flags. Tiny Tots of the institution rendered patriotic songs like:
Shurja dayetumi Shurjastea tumi, Dhana dhannye pushpe bhara, Je deshete shapla shaluk, and Ak nadi rakto periye.
The programme was addressed by Dr Faruk Aziz Khan, Principal. In his speech Dr Khan reiterated the spirit of Liberation War of Bangladesh and expressed his deep tribute to the martyrs who laid down their lives.
This is Home
The husky smell of the nagor dola,
Mirpur stadium, the home of cricket literally turned into a giant aquarium on the very day of its inauguration, as the entry gates and the exits were flooded during the lunchtime. At least 2000 people were reported to have 'filled their boots', as the crowd managed to squeeze out of the few open gates. Our in house smell expert has reached a conclusion, based on his Sandal Analysis that the liquid tested positive for 93% human bodily fluid. Till the time this report was written, the authorities had taken no action other than banning any more bottles into the stadium.
By Tausif Salim
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